The End: 2006

Ah, year end lists! How do I love thee? Namely since I get an easy-ass post out of you.

2006 was totally not the year I thought it would be. I'm still dumb enough to have that fresh faced idealism about every coming year so I went into 2006 doing my Snow Queen impression, all "Yes! Excellent! This rules!" I rang in 2006 with Luke, Leslie, Kelly and Phil drinking too many daiquiris, not dominating Scene It!, and getting assed in the face by Phil while playing Twister. Then, in true adult like fashion, I crashed on Luke and Leslie’s floor in a sleeping bag, woke up the next morning and ate my way through the greasy starchy delight that is a Bob Evan’s breakfast. With a start like that, how could 2006 possibly go bad?

Well. Let’s take a look, shall we?

2006: The Year of Sucky Men

Number of men that hit on me: 6

Number of men that hit on me at the singles mixer: 3

Number of men at singles mixer that were spazzing out screaming about how AWESOME Alice in Chains are, then blatantly staring at my tits while bragging about getting into 5 car crashes in 2 months, and then apropos of nothing yanking out a picture of their two year old son and thrusting it in my face, all while I tried to gracefully exit stage left: 1

Number of creepy men at singles mixer who stared at me and then grabbed me by the waist and then seriously told me that they had been looking for me all their life and tried to kiss me: 1

Number of seemingly nice men that hit on me at singles mixer: 1

Number of men I made out with at singles mixer: 1 (classy, right? With a capital ASS as the Redhead would say)

Number of dates that I got out of singles mixer: 1

Number of conversations I had with said guy post mixer before deciding he was kind of a tool: 1

Amount of time I spent weighing whether I should go out with him anyway: 1 day

Amount of mortification I felt when I discovered the lying douchebag was using me to cheat on his perfectly lovely girlfriend: infinity + 1

Amount of retribution and vindication I felt when I outed him to his girlfriend and the knowledge that she dumped his sorry ass and went on to better things: one million percent

Amount of love I had for the internet following that incident: tons

Number of men who hit on me despite being twice my age and married: 1

Number of men who hit on me while having a girlfriend, but were at least completely honest about it: 1

Number of men who said insulting things to me once they realized I wasn’t going to sleep with them: 2

Number of men who said insulting things to me without meaning to: 3

Amount of frustration I felt with Boy because he just doesn’t get it and never will, therefore I really truly and honestly give up: The entire month of March

Number of men who told me I’d be more "fuckable" if I lost 10 pounds: 1

Amount that I regretted not slapping the shit out of them after they said that: Every day that has followed

Number of perfectly nice, decent, attractive, smart, kind men that hit on me: 0

My message to men in 2007: Get your damn act together.

2006: The Year of Cancer and Sickness

Basically, everyone that I know has had someone close to them get cancer. And you know about the Doc, obviously. Which was, and continues to be awful. But yes, cancer decided to be all big and bad this year attacking people I care about or attacking the loved ones of people I care about. And Cancer, I got to tell you: Watch yourself. I am coming after you personally in 2007. I’ve decided that one of my resolutions is going to be to take part in cancer research fundraising somehow — be it the breast cancer walk like Coleen does or some donations to St. Jude’s or something. I don’t know. But I’m formulating a plan and you’re going down, Cancer. You’ve pissed me off to no end this year, and I’m not taking your shit in 2007.

2006: The Year of Brokeness

My blog, my cell phone, Stanley iBook, my car, my monitor at work, our garbage disposal, my DVD player, my bank account, and my sanity.

2006: You Basically Sucked

What’s the deal with that, 2006? Through the bad crap (which really hit hard in the second half of the year) there were moments of severe awesomeness and I am now going to recount them for you because I refuse to let the suckiness get the last word:

I turned 25
I got into and began graduate school
I carried a 4.0 this semester (which, no, I will not stop bragging about)
I rediscovered my crafty side and learned how to crochet and knit and began some other creatively stimulating projects.
My mentee and I really got along well
I completed 17 tasks off of my 101 in 1001 list
I met Michael Showalter (swoon)
I went camping with friends this summer, which was ridiculously fun
I got an iPod
I got Iris my lovely digital SLR
I met my photography-crush, JJ, and took a workshop with him
My brother remounted Tadhg and mounted Crazy Gary, both of which were quite successful
I saw They Might Be Giants and Henry Rollins
I was quoted in New York Magazine
A fun Haven girl lived with us for a month
I hosted Easter dinner for my family and made a bodacious lamb for the main course
I spent an entire weekend in Virginia Beach visiting the Fry with awesome friends
I saw Indian movies and loved them
I made myself slightly insane by dashing around helping with the EC videos, which got great kudos
I spent a lot of time partying with the Reings, Earnests, and of course the Dakes side of my family and realized that I possibly have the most complex, rich, and retardedly fun group of people to be related to.
I continue to be thankful for what have to be the two best roommates on the planet, Kelly and Mike
And I managed to score myself the best possible groups of friends a girl could hope for: 141, the ’03 Kids, Production Peeps, Writer friends, and now new Rosemonties.

So there it is. 2006 in quick review. Farewell, 2006. I cannot say I am sorry to see you end. 2007, I turn to you and greet you with open arms and say, "Yes! Excellent! This rules!"

A List at 1:30am

1. Why is it so much easier to write when I have half a bottle of wine in me? For that matter, why do I think that everyone is better at writing than me? Let’s face it: I have Hemmingway’s curse.
   
   
2. I talk a lot about friendship in this space, but one person I have neglected to mention here is Debbie and her other half, Brian. They are ever constant, amazing people. Their Boxing Day Party yesterday was the stuff of legends, much like all of Debbie’s parties. Did I ever tell you that Debbie was the person to get me through my first hangover? She’s like the fun aunt/best big sister you could ever hope for. And since I’m a sucker for men with British accents (and of course since he’s really her perfect match) I love Brian too. Tonight’s dinner was fantastic, you guys. (Obviously, considering the hour I am composing this little list)
   
   
3. I love you too, Nicholas James. You know exactly why too.
   
   
4. Compliments I was paid tonight: "You always look good," "You’re such an angel," "No, really darling, you’re like a breath of fresh air," and "You’re a bloody brilliant editor."
   
   
5. I just may become addicted to clove cigarettes. Blame Gary.
   
   
6. Damien Rice is fucking brilliant. His song, "Cheers, Darling" has just gotten me through the night. [ETA: And his song "Rootless Tree" is rocking my afternoon.]
   
   
7. Shout out to Amanda H. I haven’t seen you in about three billion years and we picked up just like we never left off. That, right there is the thing I love the most about 141.
   
   
8. While I’m shouting out to Amandas, I would like to shout out to Amanda B. Thanks for a wonderful Saturday night. ‘
   
   
9. What, you want more? Any more and it would be spoiling you. It’s time for another clove and then bed. It’s 2am and I have work tomorrow, y’all. Good night and God Bless. I promise to elaborate on some of these ideas later.

I'm a Smartie McSmarterson Who's Smart!

Guess who got straight A's this semester?

Holiday Photo Entry

Alternate post title: 1300 Pictures of my Adorable Cat Playing in Garland

For real. I can't help it. I mean, look at him:







I know, right? So. Cute.



He's in attack mode right now, ears back. I think because Christopher was antagonizing him.





I loooooooove my fat Dill cat.



Ahem, yes. Well. Other holiday goodness: Cookies! My office's annual cookie swap took place on Monday, so last Sunday I spent the entire day baking. Because I'm insane, I made 4 different types of cookies: Chocolate peanut butter, chocolate cappuccino, peanut butter oatmeal, and pumpkin.



The pumpkin came out awesome, if I do say so myself.



The only problem is, now we have cookies coming out of the wazzoo. There are SO MANY cookies here. I'm taking most of them home to Lebanon though, so my Mom, Dad and brother can get fat right along with me.

I decided to try and make a lot of my Christmas presents this year (You know, because I didn't have anything else going on. Cha, I'm a freak) and I decided for all the lovely ladies at my office I would try my hand at crafting some homemade solid perfume. I made two kinds, rose and jasmine. The jasmine came out lovely. Well, it made the kitchen smell spectacular, at least. Anyway:





Melting the beeswax. I got a HUGE block of this stuff and it was a pain in the ass to break it up.



My first batch! I think these were the rose. The rose wasn't nearly as potent as the jasmine, mental note for next time, add more rose oil.



Ah, the jasmine. I really couldn't get over the smell it made in our kitchen. Mike wandered in, took a big whiff, and said, "I feel like I should be seducing someone right now." Indeed. It's a very seductive scent.



All together, cooling. I got some super-cute mini chinese food cartons to pack the perfume in:



So cute, right?



All in all, it was a fun little project and was a fairly uncomplicated process. The trickiest part by far is pouring the melted wax and oils into the containers. Make sure whatever you're melting the wax in has a spout, because the very second the wax hits something cool, it hardens. I myself do not have anything with a spout that is a) glass or b) big enough to melt everything in. So pouring was a bit of an adventure. Behold, the carnage:



Yuck.

Our apartment looks quite festive.



Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas tree! We veered away from the short and fat trees we've gotten in years past and got a nice middle-sized tree. We have neato "Whoville" ornaments, as Kelly and I have deemed them, as they look very Dr. Suess-ish. In addition to this stripey ball we also have red balls with sparkly green polka dots and red balls with silver sparkly spiral stripes.



'Sup, Angel?




And of course, because Kelly and I have a deep fondness for Hanukkah (No, neither of us are Jewish. We just think it's a sweet , beautiful holiday, rich in history and tradition. Judaism is quite an amazing faith ), we've been lighting a menorah as well.



And on that note, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Blessed be the Solstice. Peace, joy and love to you and yours.

Ok, FINE one last picture of Dill, lounging in the glow of the Hanukkah candles:

A final of errors

So remember how in my last post I was all, "Wah wah wah, I suck, blah blah blah self-doubt cakes, at least I have until Wednesday to finish"? Yeah, that was a nice story. Then I woke up on Tuesday and realized that 19th was on Tuesday and not Wednesday like I had mistakenly thought.

And then I freaked the fuck out.

I was able to calm down relatively quickly, though, because after I posted Monday night I was able to pull myself together and get a lot done. I was still having problems with CSS and Java Script, but really those parts were just gravy. So Tuesday morning, I took quick stock: I had pretty much an entire website ready to go. I was only missing a links page (easy) and the gallery, which yeah, not happening as I still don't understand SQL stuff. The page wouldn't be as pretty as I pictured in my mind's eye, but it would be nicer than the current Inis Nua site and it would be a fully functioning website. All I had to do was export it and upload it.

Now, like I said, technically I didn't even have to make a full working website for my final. But this was a final I was looking forward to and I wanted to do really well on it...I had thought I would make this awesome site, impress my professor, get an A++ and then go on to academic power and glory, or whatever. But the fates were against me. Because this is how Tuesday went:

Shit. Today's the 19th. I'm fucked.

Oh God, how am I this dumb?

Ok, wait. It's not that bad. I can totally do this. Make links page, clear away useless script coding, upload, Miller Time. Sack up, ho, and get to work.

OK, links page made. Coding cleared. Let's export!

Let's upload!

Uhhh....hmm.

OK, that's never happened to me before.

Let's try again.

And again.

And one more time.

Shit. Ok, well, I have actual work to do at my job. I'll try again later.

OK, here we go...it will work this time.

Or not.

DAMMMIT, WORK.

I wonder if the IT guy here can help me?

Yeah, not so much help there, buddy. Thanks for nuttin.

Bite me, Fetch.

OK, this thing was supposed to be handed in, like an hour ago. I'm fucked.

OK, emailed professor. All cool. I will use built-in FTP client thingy in Adobe GoLive on laptop when I get home. That will work.

Wait, what happened to the buttons on my banner? Why are they suddenly not working?

Waaaaaittt, no no no no! Ah, shit.

OK, let's force quit that nonsense and try again.

Goddamnit, why aren't you recognizing the link slices?

Oh, that's why. I'm a tool. Never mind.

I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate me.

I love Kelly, though, how did she know I needed a glass of wine?

Chardonay!

All right, this is it. Everything good? All right. Site, prepare to be uploaded!

Ta-Da!

Wait, what? Why are you doing that?

Oh my GOD, that looks awful. Why is that happening?

Maybe it's the layers. I'll delete them.

Ok, maybe it's the cell padding on the tables.

OK, maybe it's...I don't know what the hell it is.

OK, let's look at the source code.

You tell me nothing, source code.

Oh God, what do I do now?

I wonder if I can get Kelly to get me a refill on that wine. Wait, no, FOCUS.

Maybe I just need to quit, open up again, re-export and upload.

WHY DO YOU HATE ME, INTERNET, WHEN I'VE SHOWN YOU NOTHING BUT LOVE?!?!

---

Around 10:30 I finally admitted defeat. I would not have a fully functioning website for my professor. Instead, I exported all the Adobe GoLive stuff into a PDF and reworked the entire final to be handed in that way. I took a break around midnight for some dinner and then finally completed everything around 1:30ish.

I sent it off. Hopefully, I won't have too many points docked for lateness since I emailed the professor to tell her it would be late. Better or worse though, it's done and out there. Now I need a web genius to help me fix and get up the actual site.

Semester is over, bitches. Let the revelry begin.

I hate the internet and everything to do with it

Oh my GOD, you guys. This last final is being a bitch.

Here's the skinny: For my writing for the web class our final was to create and write an entire website or significantly rewrite an existing site. I decided to do (what else?) the Inis Nua site and rehaul the entire thing since it needed it anyway, thus killing two birds with one stone, etc.

I rewrote the entire site. Done. Easy. But now putting it together? I SUCK, people. SUCK. I am so bad at this and I need some actual damned web design classes and coding lessons instead of these stupid basic HTML lessons, which I obviously already know, but I can't do anything serious with. Adobe GoLive is not being the program for me.

I am so fucked, you guys. I guess technically I don't have to actually create an entire live site but I decided to do it because it needed it and deep down I know (and so does my professor) that I'm capable of this. So, yes fucked. This thing is due Wednesday morning. Despite having worked on this for most of the weekend, I have diddly by way of something to hand in. I have it all written. I know exactly how I want it to look and work. Can I get Adobe GoLive or Photoshop or even stinky Quark to cooperate with me? No. I'm freaking out a little.

I totally want to scream right now. I've said the word "motherfucker" at least 13 times in the last 30 minutes. I hate that I can't create what's in my mind's eye. It's beyond frustrating.

HAAAAAAATTEEEE

Send booze, please.

Lighter Shades

I missed you guys. Did you miss me? Oh sure. I bet you say that to all the bloggers that ignore you in favor of educational advancement. Whatever. Anyway here we go:

I just handed in one of my finals. I have one last final due next week and then it’s Sianara Semester! Unless I am mistaken (or unless I jinx it by writing about it here) I have just scored myself an A in my first graduate level class. This class (the one with Talking Stick Woman, for those who know me personally) was nothing like I thought it would be. It made me crazy frustrated. Admittedly, if I had not spent the entire semester up on my huffy bike and put forth a little more effort, I probably would have enjoyed the class more. On the same turn, though, I was dealing with a lot of external shit this semester and I just didn’t have the patience to be all floaty touchy feely with this class. Give me rock hard expectations and I’ll meet them. Being the guinea pig class for this professor didn’t help either as we sort of stumbled around in the dark about what the hell we were doing. That’s not to say I wasn’t challenged or that I didn’t learn anything, because I did. Just not what I wanted to learn. I’m not sure how I feel about this. Part of me is glad — I learn very well from the school of errors and missteps. But a larger part of me craved something more focused and direct. I also learned a great deal from my peers who were 13 different levels of awesome. I’m looking forward to taking classes with them next semester. As a nice ending to the class, our professor gave us each a copy of The Elements of Style. If you are a publishing dork or a writing nerd you know why this book is awesome. It’s gold. It simultaneously manages to make you feel as though you have the potential to be the best writer in the world and then whacks you over the head for all of the dumb-ass mistakes you make in your writing. I love this book. I have a battered moldy copy from the Seventies that I picked up at some yard sale or thrift store and I am happy to replace it with this sleek updated illustrated volume. You should get one. It makes a great gift!

Like I said, I have one final due next week and then I’m off for a full month! I have the final all mapped out, all I have to do is put it all together. It’s what I’ll be doing all weekend, so don’t call me and ask me to hang out. No. I can’t, I told you. One last final and then I’m available for parties and makeouts. Promise.

I’ve been complaining about work a lot in this space. But through all the suck, ick, and aggravation, I’ve neglected to mention something that’s happened that has been very, very nice: I’ve made a new friend. A relatively new editor and I have gotten chummy. He and his wife are super fun people and we’ve begun having semi-regular lunches with other coworkers at a local vegan Chinese food place where we discuss liberal politics, Harry Potter theories, and Christopher Guest movies. Really, what more could you want in a friend or coworker? Not that there was anything wrong with my other work friends (even if those higher ups are trying to tear us apart by dismantling my beloved Production Row!), but we’ve all been fairly downtrodden lately for various reasons. It’s nice to have someone to talk to who hasn’t been bogged down by all of the crap in this place. Although, I’m sure it will eventually get to him too. For now, though, it’s a much needed bright spot.

Oh my god you guys, I haven’t done any Christmas shopping yet. None. Worse, I don’t have any idea what to get for people. To make matters worse, I’m going through a bit of a selfish phase right now. The two times I tried to go Christmas shopping I ended up walking around all, “I want this! And this! Ooooo, and THIS! Ok, maybe this might make an okay present for mom. But I want three of these too! And this!” You get the idea. It’s a real problem.

I’ve heard from the Doc, and he’s doing well. He’s quite weak and busy recuperating and it’s still such a long road for him, but to hear from him personally, via email, is such a weight off my shoulders. The fact that he still sounds like himself is an even greater comfort. Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers for him and for putting up with me as I lost my shit all over the place as I tried to help him before he left. Cancer can still BITE ME for fucking with my friends this year.

Earlier this month Kelly and I went to J.J.’s workshop and let me tell you: that man knows his photography. Which I obviously already knew but…wow. Just wow. It was an intense and amazing session. And also overwhelming. I learned so, so much and I am so glad that I went. One of the coolest parts of the session was when we looked at the photography we brought with us and J.J. critiqued it. And! He said nice things about my photos. That made me feel good. I really needed this session, I think, and I left feeling quite inspired. I learned about those technical doo-dads I was unsure about before and picked up a couple of cool tricks too. Already I can see a difference in my work. I promise to post some pictures soon. J.J. will be having more workshops later this winter and I highly recommend them to those of you out there who are interested in learning more about photography (Ahem, Redhead’s boyfriend and Tamika).

Oh Jesus, what else? I have so much more, but I’m losing steam. Right now, I think it’s time for a beer and some down time before hitting the track tomorrow with that last final.

Ugh

So I just modified my blog for Blogger Beta and wrote a long ass entry about happy things (for once) that Blogger then proceeded to not recognize and then posted an empty page. You know why? Because Blogger Beta doesn't like Safari/Camino/Macintosh web browsers. You know what? If I had known that I wouldn't have gone beta. And now? I can't change it back. If want to update my blog I have to use craptastic Internet Explorer.

DO YOU KNOW HOW OBNOXIOUS THAT IS, BLOGGER? SUCK IT.

Update: I've gotten it to work with Safari now, which is better than IE but not as convient for me as Camino. I'm still pissed about losing that (really good) entry. Damn it. I'll try rewriting it tomorrow.

What Life's Been Like, Lately

I promise to write more after final projects/papers are done.

Design by Steve Powers.

I'm totally pimping myself out

My photo is up for submission into JPG magazine! The theme is "Embrace the Blur" and you should vote for it so that I can cross "Operation: Get Published" off my list!

The photo comes from Mare's birthday party earlier this year. More photos from then can be found in this entry.

VOTE VOTE VOTE!

Mad Props

I have to give a large and hearty congratulations to the crew over at Dellavision. Because their National Film Challenge entry from October just placed in the top fifteen! Out of, like, 180-something entries! That's awesome! So, go you: Dell'Osa brothers John and Chris, Mike, Jam, Swifty, Lisa, and everyone else involved. You did a good job, and I'm proud of you guys.

And check it out:



Aren't my friends talented? You can see more Dellavision stuff here.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

You make the call II: New Year's Eve

I'm in a bit of a pickle about what to do for New Year's Eve. I've been invited to several different parties and while I'd like to go to all of them, logistically and geographically it's impossible. So I am going to ask you for your help. Here are my choices:

Party 1: Rhode Island
The triplets and Gary are having a party and have invited me to attend. I totally owe those girls a visit, and except for a recent impromptu party at Deb's, I haven't really seen Gary in months. It will be a low-key evening, filled with a lot of games (Gary will coerce us all into playing RISK, I know it), alcohol and laughter. Pros: Triplets, Gary, fun! Cons: Long way to travel, no one for me to make out with at midnight.

Party 2: Luke and Leslie's
After I missed the Halloween Party (due to a grad school commitment), I'm kind of in the dog house with these guys, so I really should go. This party is bound to be a rocking good time though, filled with lots and lots of alcohol. Pros: Good friends, local, lots of booze! Cons: I spent last year with Luke and Leslie, generally it's going be the same party games that we always play (never have I ever, exquisite dead guy, etc.), no one for me to make out with at midnight.

Party 3: Baltimore
A swanky night on the town in Baltimore with Teresa, Al, and friends. Fancy places and food, champagne, the works. Pros: Fancy! Getting dressed up, good food, friends I don't get to see to often, fun. Cons: $$$$, some travel involved, no one for me to make out with at midnight.

What do you guys think? I'm taking a vote here. Where would you go?

You make the call

In the middle of a serious presentation on a policy that you know through personal experience is complete and utter bullshit, do you:

A) Bust out laughing

B) Become enraged and bitter and walk out of the presentation

C) Impale the person who broke the policy (...multiple times...with various people...to the knowledge of EVERYONE), yet suffered virtually no consequences and just happens to be sitting two rows in front of you with the sharp end of a pencil

D) Sigh and roll your eyes while thinking hateful thoughts and then treat yourself to a brownie and candy cane after the presentation is complete, and congratulate yourself on your self control.


I went for D. What would you do?