Our Little Girl is All Growed Up!

I have to say, I like that Jen-girl. She's got spunk. She was very brave, asked questions, and didn't run screaming from the store like I thought she would. No, she went in there and bought it and she did it like a damn woman.

Congrats, Miss J. Many happy returns of the day, I hope!

Whoosh

Whoosh

That's the sound the envelopes made as I slid them into the mail slot.

For better or worse, the applications are out there.

OK, I now have 320 words

Nyahhh to you, crippling low self esteem. I tricked you! I typed the 250 words needed for my application in a blog window to trick my brain into relaxing and letting me type like a NORMAL HUMAN BEING so I could finish my applications. And people? THEY ARE GOING OUT IN THE MORNING MAIL.

Also, it should be noted that I am not completely Krazy, as my last entry might have indicated. I am PMSing and working on the guide corrections from hell this week and I am not allowed to have chocolate. So there.

But I am allowed to have wine. And I am going to treat myself to a glass right now.

250 words, my kingdom for 250 words!

I am in the HOME STRETCH. 250 words separate me from completing my applications. But I am fried and I can't think of any, or as I just mistyped "I can't think of me." That's right I CAN'T THINK OF ME. And it's a shame because I need 250 words about how awesome I am and how awesome I will be in these grad programs. I need awesome awesomey words of awesomeness. And I have none.

And I fully realize that by the time I finish this sentence I will have typed the equivalent of about half of the number of words I need for my application, but you know? I can't do this. I can't write words formally anymore. I feel like I've been out of school too long and I can't express myself clearly or coherently and I feel lost and disoriented and shitty. Oh my God what if I can't do this?

WHAT IF I CAN'T DO THIS?!?!?!


Don't even try to comfort me right now

Puh-shaw, March Madness

You can keep your NCAA brackets. For me, the most wonderful time of the year is coming:

Philadelphia Film Festival.

I'm thinking that The Cartoonist and I are going to go to the animiation shorts again making a nice little tradition out of it, and then I want to see the following:

This Film is Not Yet Rated

The 48-hour Film Project (I believe the very talented Dell'Osa Brothers are participating and I would love to see it)

The Mighty Celt

Curtain Call

Hard Candy

Is This Too Much? (Shorts Program)

Kinky Boots

The Master

Meatball Machine

My Life in Toons

Strange Circus

Tokyo Zombie

Obviously, I won't get to see them all, seeing as money doesn't grow off of trees and I don't just have oodles of spare time, but I'll be making an effort to see a couple of them.

So, who wants to go see a movie?

All that and then some

Oh, man. I have so much that I want to talk about with you all, but no time to tell it. So we’ll sum up:

• First of all, you need to go visit Sars, who is one of my favorite writers ever, and take part in her Donors Choose program because if we reach $30,000 she’ll shave her head. And also, you can win prizes! Plus, it’s for the kids. Yeah, that’s it, for the kids. Even if you are poor like me and can only afford $10 or $20 it’s still helping, and that’s what’s important. Go, now, go!
  
  
• Secondly, you should go visit The Cartoonist because today is his birthday. Leave him fun silly messages, even though HE HASN’T UPDATED HIS BLOG IN MONTHS. Whatever.
  
  
• Today is also the birthday of my oldest friend in the world. We love her too.
  
  
• I can finally talk about Mare’s surprise party, and believe me, it was an effort not to talk about it here for fear that she would read about it. But now we can talk about because…well, it’s over. And what fun it was! It was a super secret and major kudos go to Miss T for having self control not to let anything slip, since you know, she lives with Mare. If it were me, and I was planning a surprise party for Kelly, the jig would have been up after day 2. Anyway, Miss T did a fantastic job planning it all, and it was super fun. It was a bowling party and it was perfect.
  
  Speaking of self control and temptation, let the record show that I am still Master of my Domain, as it were, because I did not partake in any birthday cake this weekend, unlike other people who not only broke down and ate birthday cake, but also tried to get me to eat it too. And by “get me to eat it” I really mean “tried to shove cake in my mouth.” For real. Well, I win neener neener neener, because I managed to avoid the cake and I’ve dropped a pant size which I am taking to mean that the sweet embargo is working.
  
  I was also terribly tempted by Tommy B’s (beautiful, spectacular) Nikon digital SLR camera, which he was kind enough to let me borrow for a few shots:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Great, now I want one of my own. Applications for the position of Sugar Daddy can be sent directly to me, beginning tomorrow.
  
  
• My applications for graduate school go out this week. Every time I think about it my stomach goes in knots. I spent 15 minutes lying in bed thinking about Columbia and how many eggs I have placed in that basket and how everyone knows it, and then I went through the mental checklist of everything I have to do before I send out the application, like my financial aid forms which I completely duh’ed on because I was spazzing about the actual application.
  
  
• Shit, I also need to get my taxes done. Fuck, I am so behind and don’t understand anything about how to do taxes. I am such a dunce at math and even though I’ve been told by everyone that I could figure it out, I highly doubt it. You guys…really bad at math. I was an English major for a reason. I was just going to go to H&R Block to do them, but seeing as they’re facing major law suits right now, I don’t think it’s such a hot idea.
  
  
• I hate to end on such a downer, but this is important. It was the anniversary of the Iraq war on Sunday. Three years later and we still haven’t found WMDs. We never will. I know two people who have died in this war. I know one who has been wounded. I still have 3 friends serving over there. Chances are, so do you. Iraq is on the brink of civil war. Now you tell me: Mission Accomplished?
  
  ITMFA!

March 17

Beannachtai na Feile Padraig do mo chairde go leir.

Laying Low

I had fun anecdotes to tell you --- stories about snotty actors that couldn't act who had no idea I was working lights and sound, even after I worked day long tech rehearsals with them and they saw me rehanging lights right in front of them. Stories about how I ate the WHOLE thing at the Timothy School benefit and then spent the next half hour laughing in a parking lot at Mare because she's the funniest. Stories about my friend-iversary with the triplets, which is today.

But I can't tell them now. I'm hiding out. Rumors are going around that someone is about to get dooced. And I don't want it to be me, if you know what I mean.

Tales to come, that's a promise. Maybe on Sunday, after a weekend of stereotypical behavior and partying I'll share.

Meme-mem-mem

I usually don't do these, but Nirm tagged me and I now feel obligated:

6 Weird Habits/Things About Me

1) I used to twirl my hair as a kid and I would get these HUGE rat nest knots in my hair that my mom would have to spend hours combing out, with me screaming the whole time. I still twirl my hair occasionally, usually when I am bored or worried. Sometimes I still catch myself doing it while watching TV or reading. I don't know where this comes from or why I do it.

2) I have to fall asleep with the TV on. Too much quiet freaks me out.

3) I've lived in the general vicinity of Philadelphia for the past 6 years (counting college) and I've never been to the Liberty Bell or The Betsy Ross House. I'm not too concerned about this.

4) I crack my knuckles constantly. It's such a bad habit -- very un-ladylike and not classy in the slightest. I need to break it, but it feels soooo good it's impossible.

5) I assign numbers and letters gender. I've done this since kindergarten when we were learning the alphabet and had those inflatable Alphabet People to play with. 7, 5, 12, T, M, F, and R are obviously male while 3, 6, 8, E, B, D, and O are positively female. G is a hermaphrodite with the lowercase being female and uppercase being an effeminate male. I am so weird. This probably says so much about me working in publishing.

6) The only things I do right handed are bat and bowl.

Bliss

Why are you reading me? Go outside, child. Unless you're reading this from some icy locale, you need to be outdoors enjoying the spring-like weather.

Oh, don't get fresh with me. I'll have you know that I AM outdoors, sitting on my fire escape typing on my laptop and loving my wireless connection. Which to me, is my perfect idea of nerdy bliss. I'm going to sit out here and type up my final two paragraphs for my Columbia application, enjoy the veiw (scenic Malvern, ladies and gentlemen), the sunshine, and the breeze, possibly have lunch out here, and just generally love the fact that it's warm enough out here to not be bundled up in 14 layers of clothing.

You should too.

The only pretty ring time!

If you live in the tri-state area, listen to me: GO OUTDOORS RIGHT NOW. Words cannot explain how georgous it is out there. It's warm, it's sunny, there's a breeze. It's perfect.

You know what this means, right? Spring is coming, spring is coming! Granted, we didn't exactly have a harsh winter or anything, but I can't tell you how much I hate the cold in any form, so any winter is bad winter in my books.

As for me, fuck this gray cube shit, I'm going outside to take a walk.

Of Kings and Horses

I went to Gary's last night because he had invited me over to watch Harry Potter. By "watch Harry Potter" Gary really meant "stuff you full of delicious food and wine, tempt you with Godiva chocolate ice cream WHICH YOU CAN NOT HAVE HA HA HA LOSER, and kick your ass at chess."

To be fair, we did watch Harry Potter, but we had both seen it before, so we chatted a lot through the movie. But the real fun came after the movie when Gary pulled out the chess board and insisted that I play with him. I have only played chess about 4 times in my life, and it totally showed as Gary instituted a flying V pawns of death attack on me and proceeded to house me solidly. He captured my queen in 3 moves and then trapped me in the back left corner of the board and made me make hard decisions such as "Do I sacrifice my rook or my bishop?" only to take them both anyway. Bastard. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to remember if the horse can jump people.

My main problem with chess, is that I don't have the foresight to think about the Big Picture. I have a tendency to only see what is directly in front of me and at most think one move ahead. I have no strategy. I also don't do that thing where you "see the whole board," as they say. I was so pleased when I took Gary's bishop that I didn't see that he wanted me to take it so that he could steal my queen. Leaving me feeling like an asshole.

"To me, a good game of chess is when I don't let the other player take any pieces that I don't want them to take," Gary told me.

"I hate you," I told him. Because to me, a good game of chess is one were I don't royally fuck up by making retarded mistakes. You know, like I just had.

I also have trouble seeing protection or attacks when they come from afar. Gary was trying to help me by talking out moves with me. "Right now your knight is under attack."

"It is?"

"From that move I just made. With my rook."

I looked at the board. His rook was nowhere near my knight. Not even remotely in the vicinity. I pointed this out to Gary.

“Ah. But in two moves it will be.”

“Motherfucker. Now what?”

“That’s up to you.”

For as much as I suck at chess, I would love to get better at it. Because it is a cool game. I had actually wanted to play a second game after Gary beat me, just to see if I could play better now that I’ve had a game under my belt and remembered how the game worked. Unfortunately, it was now midnight and because of “responsibilities” and “work” I had to go. Also, if I had had anymore wine, I would have had to spend the night.

So my new goal is to get good enough at chess so that I can be somewhat of a challenge for Gary when we play. Sadly, I have no one to play with, and the only chess set I currently own happens to be of the shot glass variety, which somehow I don’t think will help my game at all.

Art = Sexy

So, given my new love of Em & Lo's horoscopes, I've been visiting their site pretty frequently. About a month ago I noticed a survey they had posted asking for our veiws on who was better in bed: artists or businessmen, and which did I prefer to date?

After some quick calculation, I realized that all my boyfriends, seriously ALL of them, had been creative types.

So filled out the survey voting for artists all the way and submitted it. A few days later I was contacted by them, asking if they could use some of my quotes in an article they were publishing for New York Magazine.

The article appears in this week's issue. I'm the 24-year-old graphic designer that's quoted in the second paragraph. Since the article is about sex, they didn't use last names, but that's me.

You guys. I've been quoted in New York Magazine before the age of 25. Sure, I can never show it to my parents or put it on my resume. And it's not exactly a ground breaking quote, but still. It's got to count for something, right?

Shut up. I'm totally counting it on my coolness factor list.

Article can be read here.

Better than "Whip Inflation Now"

ITMFA

(With thanks to Dan Savage.)

It won't take long; we’re gonna put you in a trance with a funky song

Thoughts that went through my head as I heard the New Kids on the Block hit "Hangin' Tough" being played completely unironically on the radio during my lunch break:

1) No WAY! (amusement)
2) No. Way. (horror)
3) How did that New Kids dance go?
4) Wait. Did they just delcare this a "funky song?"
5) There are so many things wrong with that, I don't know where to begin.
6) Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
7) Goddamn, this song is a lot longer than I remember it to be
8) Still going.
9) And going.
10) Oh my God, it's UNENDING
11) This is why I hate commercial radio

Shiraz Nights

As I was coming home from the show last night I got such a craving for red wine. I tend to lean towards white wines and blushes normally, mainly because they won’t give me "wine tongue" or "merlot mouth" while drinking them, but every now and then I ignore that and go for a nice cabernet. Last night I wanted, deeply, a shiraz. And since my other cravings have been denied (bah, Lent), I decided that this one should be fulfilled. I went on a hunt for a liquor store still open, but due to my shoddy memory of where to buy hootch in Lansdowne, I didn’t find places until after 5pm, i.e. closing time for the demon liquor providers in the Quaker State. Thus, my dream of curling up for the Oscars with a glass of red and popcorn while drooling over the funny and sexy Mr. Stewart was shattered.

But tomorrow is another day, right? I picked up some wine after work tonight. As I cooked dinner of asparagus risotto and chicken with vegetables in a cream sauce (I make it sound more impressive than it was. I bought it frozen from Trader Joe’s), Mike examined the bottle of Yellow Tail shiraz I had gotten.

"See, I never understand descriptions on alcohol. ‘Impressive spice, licorice and red berry aromas. This wine is perfectly balanced with silky tannins, accompanied by big, ripe fruit flavors.’ Can you really taste all of that in the wine?"

"Um…sort of," I said as I poured myself a glass. "You sort of need to be paying attention to it…and…also, sometimes the food you’re eating will bring different things out. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain."

By saying this, what I really meant is: You need to drink more to understand.

I took my first sip of the shiraz and what I tasted was not the licorice, berry, or even the grapes. What I really tasted was summer. I tasted the twilight on a balmy July evening. I tasted bare feet and fire flies and good conversation.

Sometimes, when you taste or smell something, you can be transplanted back to a Happy Place. And that’s what the shiraz did for me. I was taken back to this past summer, or late spring at the very earliest. It was before Tree and Al had moved to Baltimore and we were gathered on their back deck. By "we" I mean the girls: Nina, Laren, myself, and of course Tree. Al had been banished somewhere, possibly he was with Jon or working late. We had gathered to talk about writing because at this point we were a "writing group" together, although we had just started out. Of course once we all convened on the deck and the wine came out, talking about writing was out of the question. We talked instead about boys (I was in a full-fledged raging CRUSH on Boy at this point, and I can’t remember if we talked about him specifically or not), our career hopes, friends we had lost track of, how we wanted to be moderately fabulous, religion, and of course memories. We sat there and talked the entire evening, until all the cheese was gone and it had gotten too dark to see Nina sitting across the deck. The night wasn’t particularly exciting or full of Big Moments or anything. It was just a perfectly relaxed, happy, enjoyable evening spent chatting with girlfriends. I remember thinking as I drove home (in Red Menace, so it was before Albus came into the picture) about how simple and nice it had been. And how I had wanted to make it into a regular thing. But then Tree and Al moved and so did I and writing fell by the wayside and we all got caught up in our various lives.

That night, specifically, is what I tasted when I had my first sip of shiraz. I tried explaining this to Mike after I had swallowed and come back to reality. He didn’t get it. Again, Mike, you need to drink more.

But I did. I wasn’t craving the shiraz, I was craving the people I drink it with. The ones who don’t care that my lips and teeth get stained within 4 sips. The ones who will listen to me lament about Boys who don’t get it. The ones who will constantly amuse me. The ones I love.

101 in 1001

Oh Jesus, you guys. This really sucks. I was about 1/3 of my way through my list on the 101 in 1001 Project when Diary-X crashed and typical of me, I didn’t have a backup. So now I have to start again, from scratch. You better believe that I am going to have a back up list of this one, baby.

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Start Date: March 6, 2006

End Date: December 1, 2008

Entries will be bolded when completed

1) Go to Ireland, damnit. (BOO-YA! Completed November 17, 2008)
2) Start taking Irish Step Dancing lessons again (Completed summer 2007, although it wasn't with a teacher I particularly like)
3) Get into grad school (Completed 4/13/06)
4) Figure out a budget for myself and start living within it so I don’t go from paycheck to paycheck
5) Make my own zine, and distribute it
6) Buy a digital camera (Completed 9/4/06)
7) Buy a new 35mm (Completed 6/4/06 -- Thanks, Uncle Mike for the gift!)
8) Take a photography class (Completed 12/2/06 -- Photography Workshop with JJ Tiziou)
9) Redesign the Inis Nua website (again), this time in a fashion that both my brother and I like
10) Learn Dreamweaver or FrontPage so that I don’t have to code everything by hand or use Photoshop or Quark, which are not really web design programs
11) Make cool-looking artwork for the apartment (Completed 8/1/2008 -- I am counting the art I did for the show. Hey, it's hanging in my apartment now)
12) Host a semi fancy dinner party (Completed 4/16/06 -- I'm counting Easter Dinner because it was a holiday and semi fancy and did I mention that I made LAMB?)
13) Spend a night on my fire escape with wine, cheese, and a companion
14) Attend another Preston & Steve singles mixer, just to prove that my spirit wasn’t broken by Prince Fucking Charming.
15) Plant a garden (Completed 4/21/07, I finally planted my window box)
16) Attend another Irish festival
17) See Seamus Kennedy Live
18) See Flogging Molly live (again)
19) Spend a day in New York City with the Triplets
20) Become pen pals with someone overseas
21) Buy sexy lingerie and wear it. Look good while doing so. (Completed 8/26/08 -- Nothing too fancy, but it got the job done)
22) Join and begin regular attendance at a gym (Gym was joined 7/21/06, but regular attendance can't begin just yet because gym doesn't open until 8/17/06)
23) Publish something – be it writing or photography (Completed July 2, article in Ticket)
24) Submit something to Brevity.
25) Get an iPod (Completed 5/24/06 -- Mr. Nano, I love you)
26) Do the "Faces that I Love" photography project
27) Take Tammika to Bob and Barbara’s for Drag Night
28) Win a game of RISK while playing against Gary
29) Complete 2 crochet/knitting projects
30) Attend 2 more First Fridays (In process -- one down, one to go!)
31) Go to the Smithsonian
32) Visit my cousin Michael in Pittsburgh (Taken off the list because I was all ready to go, bags packed and everything, and he canceled on me. It's his turn to come to me.)
33) Go to California (Completed October 2007 -- San Fran with Stephanie!)
34) Visit Lisa Nicole
35) Visit Brian Fry (Completed 7/27/06)
36) Finish the 50 Books Project (Completed November 2007)
37) Host an MST3K night
38) Get contacts and get over my issues with touching my own eyeball
39) Get a CD player for my car No longer applicable/needed now that I have my iPod.
40) Make and sent a postcard to PostSecret (Completed 7/19/04 Shhhh...secret)
41) Go to at least 5 yard sales this summer (easiest item on this list, by far) (Completed 8/19/06, and then some)
42) Get a piercing in addition to my positively chaste one-hole-in-each-ear (Completed, 4/14/07)
43) Watch the Lord of the Rings Trilogy with my cousin Alex – this would be his first viewing
44) Introduce my cousin Nicky to Monty Python – He’s only six, but I can already tell he’s developing the perfect sense of humor for it.
45) Send something into Found
46) Take the portraits of the Peace Mission members
47) Upload all my photos to Flickr (Calling this done because it may not be all but it's totally at, like, 95% of my photos)
48) Learn how to ride a bike (I KNOW, I KNOW. I AM SO CLOSE IT’S RIDICULOUS) (Completed July 4, 2008)
49) Go on retreat with Kate
50) Cook the perfect fondue
51) And the perfect chilli
52) Make the first move on a boy I like.
53) Have a fling (Completed 8/24/08–present Go me!)
54) Visit the Sweet Candy Distro & Alternative Arts Center
55) Spend a weekend with Erin in Philly
56) Organize the 141 Reunion. Have people actually attend
57) Throw one more party of MLK caliber
58) Go to 4 movies in the Philadelphia Film Festival
59) Help Dave on one of his films
60) Take an art class of some sort (Completed Fall 2007, Visual Literacy Class)
61) Go camping (Completed 9/9/06)
62) Figure out my spirituality/religion/whatever
63) Protest for something I believe in
64) Volunteer to help a local liberal candidate running for office
65) Attend a Drinking Liberally meeting with Carol
66) Party with Amanda and Christina
67) Send care packages to Nick, Brian, and my John
68) Develop a writing schedule – writing that is outside this blog, that is.
69) See The Daily Show live (Completed 4/16/08)
70) Host another Lost viewing party
71) Figure out a way to get out of this rut that I’ve been living in for the past 6 months --- i.e. start taking risks and not over thinking shit so much
72) Learn Tarot better (I'm counting this as done. I've bought two books on the subject and now give myself semi-regular readings. I'm not quite ready to read other people yet, but I'm getting there)
73) Get a pedicure (Completed 8/2008)
74) Learn how to make an awesome round of the following drinks: mojito, mint julep, sangria (Mojito completed, even if Kelly didn't like them, I did)
75) Play blackjack at a casino
76) Get my own credit card and start using it responsibly (Completed October 2008)
77) Learn how to drive stick
78) Learn ASL
79) Host a brunch
80) Do Habitat for Humanity again
81) Go to Gay Bingo
82) Have another Office Bowling Night
83) Buy a new bed, one suitable for a grown up girl who may, or may not as my life is pointing out lately, have male visitors
84) Attend another one of Maria-Rita's gigs
85) Learn how to tango
86) Visit Longwood Gardens
87) Sing "Shoop" at Kareoke
88) Learn how to French braid my own hair
89) Go to the Ballet
90) Learn how to sew proficiently, well enough to make my own clothes
91) Spend a night clubbing in Philadelphia
92) Attend a costume/Halloween party in a costume that I really like (Counting this as completed on 10/21/06 -- I've always wanted to be Dorothy!)
93) Redecorate the living room
94) Figure out a way to keep Dill from peeing in that one corner (Solution: Move his litter box there. Although, technically, it was Kelly that did it. But we talked about it before hand. Whatever.)
95) Spend a week with my hair dyed a funky color – pink, blue, green whatever – corporate dress codes be damned
96) Attend shows other than my brother’s at the next Fringe/Live Arts show (Completed 2007 Fringe Fest)
97) Figure out a plan for my laundry and stick with it, so it doesn’t pile up again
98) Clean my car (Completed in October, at some point. Of course, it's dirty again now, but what can you do?)
99) Fix the bumper on my car
100) Get new fish for the aquarium at work (Completed, 1/3/08)
101) See Stella, or whatever project those boys think of next when it comes to town. (Completed 5/13/06, sort of. I saw 1/3 of the Stella Trio when Michael Showalter came to town with Eugene Merman. I am totally counting this, although if Stella should tour again I will see that again, no doubt)

The 50 Books Project

The Premise

I tried this back in 2006, and failed. In my defense, the second half of 2006 got VERY stressful and reading for pleasure just didn't figure in to my priorities, sadly. So we're trying this again. I’ve sort of stolen the premise from Doppelganger, but I’m going to leave the in-depth analysis of the books to her, because that’s what her blog is all about. I’m just going to list the books I read, for both my preservation and in case you’re interested in what I am reading. And surprisingly, many people are. I’m often asked about what I’m reading or what I’ve read lately, probably because it’s well known that I’m a nerd. When I was a kid, as a punishment my parents would take away my books, a fact that shocked my friend Nina.

"What kind of parents would deny their child reading?!"

Mine, I guess. They knew how it was the one thing I would be lost without. No phone? No problem. No TV? No worries. No books? I was bored out of my skull, and instantly rectified my behavior.
Anyway. The premise is simple. I have from January 1, 2007 to December 31, 2007 to read 50 books. This seemed like such a better resolution than, say, loosing weight or drinking less, both things you and I know I won’t do. And, bonus, it helps me justify my library fines. I’ll add books to
the list as I complete them.

The 2007 List

1. The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory
   
2. Diary by Chuck Palahniuk (reread)
   
3. You're the One That I Want: A Gossip Girl Novel by Cecily von Ziegesar (Shut up. I never said these books had to be high class)
   
4. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris (Reread, thanks to the lovely Becky buying me my own copy)
   
5. Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood (awesome)
   
6. Macbeth by William Shakespeare (for Witchcraft in Literature)
   
7. Secret Lives of Men and Women: A PostSecret Book compiled by Frank Warren
   
8. The Witch by Thomas Middleton (For Witchcraft in Literature -- sucked, by the way)
   
9. The Witch of Edmonton by William Rowley, Thomas Dekker and John Ford (Witchcraft in Literature)
   
10. The Portable Dorothy Parker by Dorothy Parker (thanks, Becky!)
    
11. Young Goodman Brown by Nathaniel Hawthorne
    Snow, Glass, Apples by Neil Gaiman
    April Witch by Ray Bradbury (Witchcraft in Literature -- short stories, together I'm counting them as a "book")
    
12. Night by Elie Wiesel (Reread, for Creative Nonfiction. I forgot how devastating this book is in its simplicity)
    
13. The Crucible by Arthur Miller (Witchcraft in Literature)
    
14. Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris (Reread. Obviously, I'm going through a bit of a phase)
    
15. The Witches of Eastwick by John Updike (Witchcraft in Literature — Dear Mr. Updike: You don't understand women at all.)
    
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling (Reread, Witchcraft in Literature)
    
17. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling (Reread, Witchcraft in Literature)
    
18. Kathy's Story: A Childhood Hell Inside the Magdalen Laundries by Kathy O'Beirne (completely sad and totally horrifying)
    
19. Kissing the Witch: Old Tales in New Skins by Emma Donoghue (Witchcraft in Literature -- Really, really good, you guys)
    
20. Charm School Book One: Magical Witch Girl Bunny by Elizabeth Watasin (Witchcraft in Literature)
    
21. Harry Potter and The Prisioner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling (Reread, Witchcraft in Literature)
    
22. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling (Reread, Witchcraft in Literature)
    
23. Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix by J.K. Rowling (Reread, Witchcraft in Literature)
    
24. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling (Reread, Witchcraft in Literature -- JEZUZ. I never thought I would be sick of Harry Potter, but now having to cram through it for school I kinda am)
    
25. Girl With A One-Track Mind by Abby Lee
    
26. A Piece of Cake by Cupcake Brown
    
27. The Cider House Rules by John Irving (Reread)
    
28. Drawing Down the Moon by Margo Adler (Okay okay, I didn't read the entire thing, but I read the majority of it, seeing as it's sort of an academic book, I skipped around a lot)
    
29. Slammerkin by Emma Donoghue (really, really good)
    
30. The Woman Who Gave Birth to Rabbits by Emma Donoghue
    
31. Touchy Subjects by Emma Donoghue
    
32. Castle Rackrent by Maria Edgeworth (Irish Novel)
    
33. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde (Irish Novel)
    
34. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
    
35. Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce (Irish Novel)
    
36. At Swim, Two Birds by Flann O'Brien (Irish Novel)
    
37. The Commitments by Roddy Doyle (Irish Novel)
    
38. At Swim, Two Boys by Jamie O'Neil (Irish Novel)
    
39. In the Forest by Edna O'Brien (Irish Novel)
    
40. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
    
41. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
    
42. Ant Farm by Simon Rich
    
43. Bad Behavior by Mary Gaitskill
    
44. Only in Your Dreams: A Gossip Girl Novel by Cecily von Ziegesar (Shut up. It was end-of-the-summer trashy reading, OK? Lay off)
    
45. Paula Spencer by Roddy Doyle
    
46. The Know-it-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become The Smartest Man in the World by A.J. Jacobs
    
47. Pope Joan by Donna Cross
    
48. His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman
    
49. His Dark Materials: The Subtle Knife by Phillip Pullman

The 2006 List

1. Nerve’s Guide to Sex Etiquette by Em & Lo
   
2. Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer.
   
3. Good Bones and Simple Murders by Margaret Atwood
   
4. A Few Good Men by Aaron Sorkin (play version – I’m totally counting this)
   
5. Rule of the Bone by Russel Banks
   
6. Diary of a Mad Housewife by Sue Kaufman
   
7. The Many Lives and Secret Sorrows of Josephine B. by Sandra Gulland
   
8. Drawing from Life: The Journal as Art by Jennifer New
   
9. Long Way Round: Chasing Shadows Across the World by Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman
   
10. Black Hole by Charles Burns
    
11. Red Dragon by Thomas Harris (Reread -- I have library fines, surprise, surprise)
    
12. V for Vendetta by Alan Moore and David Lloyd
    
13. Adobe GoLive CS Tips and Tricks: The 200 Best by Adam Pratt and Lynn Grillo
    
14. Tales of Passion, Tales of Woe by Sandra Gulland (I am becoming such a fan of hers)
    
15. Found II compiled by Davy Rothbart
    
16. The Last Great Dance On Earth by Sandra Gulland (When I started The Many Lives... I was just a casual reader. By the third and final installment, I devoured the book within 24 hours. Highly addictive)
    
17. Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Feilding (Reread, simply because I happened to catch the movie on cable one night and wanted to read it just so I could have an excuse to visualize Colin Firth in my head. Rowr.)
    
18. The Queen's Fool by Philippa Gregory (Perfect for summer -- slightly trashy historical fiction)
    
19. Forever Amber by Kathleen Winsor (Everyone talked this up, including my mother who raved about sneaking this book back when she in high school. I was only "meh" about it, though. Not helping was the fact that it's SO LONG. After the first 500 pages I couldn't figure out what else could possibly happen to this girl.)
    
20. A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry (Excellent)
    
21. The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri (Also excellent)
    
22. City of Glass by Paul Auster (Graphic Novel edition)
    
23. Fried Green Tomatoes At the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg (It's certainly been a chick-lit filled summer)
    
24. Mama Makes Up Her Mind: And Other Dangers of Southern Living by Bailey White
    
25. Writing to Change the World by Mary Pipher (For class. A solid "Meh")
    
26. The Virgin's Lover by Philippa Gregory
    
27. Psychic Junkie by Sarah Sarah Lassez
    
28. I Thought My Father Was God edited by Paul Auster (Fantastic)
    
29. My Secret: A PostSecret Book compiled by Frank Warren (Kelly's secret is in here!)
    
30. The Princess Bride by William Goldman (Reread, I was feeling nostalgic)
    
31. The Poet and the Murderer by Simon Worrall (Interesting, but took a while to get going)
    
32. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling (Reread, obviously, and shut up. The trailer made me want to read it again)

Fair warning

You're about to get a whole flurry of new entries. I've been working on these slowly for the past couple of days and now they're ready to post. I considered making them into one huge entry, but given the nature of them, I think it's better to do individuals in quick succession.

Also, I should be working on my grad school application, the one that's due in 20 days, but I like to procrastinate. This is a good way to do that.

Yeah, I don't care that you have a wife and kid...

CALL ME!



...Love!


ETA 2:00pm -- Wow. The critics are ripping him to shreds, which really surprises me. I thought he was light years better than Crystal, Goldberg or Martin, whose jokes are so forced and hokey. Stewart was a natrual, I thought, making it look easy. Granted, most of the critics are coming from places like the Washington Post. Shut up, Tom Shales. Ebert and Roper gave him two thumbs up, though, and I am really inclined to agree.

Also: Love you, Nick and Steve. You guys are too cute



And I'm finally starting to see what The Big Deal is about George Clooney. Man knows how to rock a tux, for sure. And his acceptence speech was great.



I was really annoyed about ABC cutting people's speeches though, especially in the instinces where it was more than one person receiving the award. One person would talk and then the second person would lean into the mic to thank their mom or whatever and the music would swell and mic would be turned off silencing them in their Moment. Piss off, ABC. It's the Academy Awards. Half of these people are never going to get this chance again. It's supposed to be long and people are allowed to get more than 45 seconds to say thanks to their babby's daddy or whatever.

I am seriously such a dork when it comes to the Oscars. I can't figure out why I have such a hard on for them when any other day of the year I couldn't give two shits.

I should really get bonus points

I conveniently forgot that Colonial Playhouse offers complemetary coffee, tea, hot chocolate, and COOKIES to its patrons. Last night there was a large cookie plate sitting on the table RIGHT BELOW THE LIGHT BOOTH. An assortment of Oreos, chocolate grams, and vanilla wafer things. Guess what? That plate will be there tonight too, and tomorrow afternoon. And all next weekend.

I also forgot that the local post-show theater hang, Thomas' serves fried cheesecake, which is as delicious and artery clogging as it sounds. Thomas' does not, however serve apples with peanut butter, which has been my go-to "I want something sweet" craving substitute. I had to be satisifed with my gingerale, which was woefully inadequate.

As far as opening night goes, the audience didn't throw rotten vegetables. Always a plus.

Sing it, Mark!

I say unto you, Mark Morford: Word.

Word, word, a thousand times WORD.

I think I want to buy you a drink, or ten.

And South Dakota can fuck off.

Sewn to a tremendous shadow

Some late night blogging to ask that everyone think some good thoughts for my brother who, as I type this, is somewhere over the Atlantic on a plane headed to Ireland. He's going there for a job interview. I'm asking for good thoughts not just because it would be obviously cool if he got this job and I could help him move and visit him all the time, and I would have a free place to stay in Ireland, and that would totally rule. But I am asking for good thoughts because he really needs this job. Not so much in the sense of "he'll be eating ramen noodles for weeks because he is poor," but more in the "he's been unhappy for such a long time and he really needs to feel good about his work and be somewhere that he's appreciated" sense. Trust me when I say that he needs this.

My brother and I have been keeping with our typical communication cycle: I call him, he doesn't call me back, I call him again, he calls me back but at the most inopportune moment so I can't take the call, I'll call him back, he doesn't return the call, I send him a text message, he calls me and leaves a message, I call him back but he's in rehearsal, etc. It's been more than a month since he and I have talked.

This makes me really sad.

My brother called me while I was in rehearsal at Colonial Playhouse and left the following message:

Hi. This is Tom, I'm calling for Katie? I don't know if you remember me or not, but I think you and I grew up together? I was what was known as an "older brother." I was the guy who would pin you down for nuggies and you would bite me? I occupied the blue room in the front of the house, the one that now contains all the boxes of our parent's crap. Anyway, if you can remember me, I would love to get in contact with you again.

In the last two weeks I have really missed Tom hardcore, so I rejunvinated my efforts to contact him. Not only was I missing just chatting with him, I also missed seeing him -- I hadn't seen him since...hmmm...God, I am so embarrassed to say this, but I think it was Christmas. People, he lives within 20 miles of me! I had this urge to see him and hang out with him and be a pesty tagalong sister. I had all these great stories to tell him too: Prince Fucking Charming! Office gossip and work stories! Henry Rollins! Uncle vs. Niece Photo Contest! Parties! Colonial Playhouse Shows! Stanley! Grad school updates! Me, possibly going to Ireland!

I found out from our parents that he had gotten the job interview in Belfast.

Tom and I finally connected today as we managed to get a hold of one another while he was waiting to board his plane in the airport.

I couldn't think of a single story to tell him.

I fucking hate that. I have so much that I want to share with him, and my mind went clean, like a black board that an eraser had passed over it, smudging and blurring the lists until all that remained were dust and vauge chalk outlines reminding me there were things I wanted to tell him, but now couldn't.

He began telling me bits and pieces about what had been going on with him -- a little bit about the job he was interviewing for, about the last show he directed at La Salle Red Herring.

"I saw Henry Rollins," I said lamely and completely apropos to nothing. My brain was screaming at me because I had been sitting in silence on the end of a conversation with a person I had been dying to talk to just hours before, someone who I had left bragging voice mail messages claiming to have awesome stories to share. Say! Some! Thing! ANYTHING! Henry Rollins is what came out, and after I said it I felt like such a tool.

"Listen, Tom, I have really good stories, I swear, but they're too much to get into while you're in an airport terminal. We need to get together when you get back, for dinner or something and I'll tell all." And plus, by then I will have gotten control over my basic speech functions and learned the rules of conversation, I thought.

So that's the plan. I wished him luck and safe travels and we hung up.

Coupled with my sincere hope that the interview goes well for him, is of course, my insane envy of him. That's never more than two steps behind. Seriously. The man just hopped on a plane to Ireland for a job interview. Why can't I do that?

I think it's because I'm a sissy. No, really. I love living with Kelly and I am very comfortable here in the burbs of Philly and I think a huge part of me is really terrified to leave or do anything that would disturb this comfortable, safe limbo I've got going on.

But listen to me, turning this enty which was only going to be a couple lines long and asking for some good vibes for my older brother, into all about me.

Tom, for your sake, I hope you ace this interview and get the job. Because you're deserving of it and it could be everything you've ever wanted in a job. I'll be sad if you leave and move to Ireland though, because damn, if this is what our communication is like while you're in Philly, I think we'll talk once a year at best if you're accross the fucking ocean. But I'm being selfish again. I love you. Rock it, bro.