The Weekend (abridged)

6 hour drive, rain, cold, Cat calls: "Heeey Girls, lalalalalala!", Salt marshes, tiny hotel rooms overlooking the water, Kittastic and Timmy 2 Tall, rehearsal, little black dress, Chicago kids, pumpkin cake, B Fry, wine, happiness, ghost tours, high-fives, early to rise, gray skies and drizzle, nervous energy, camera checks, lens checks, beautiful bride, silly groom, thumb-wrestling, infinite joy, sneaky kisses, laughter, pig roast, shutter bug, polariod, holga, "I get a kick out of you", friends, dancing, sore feet, muddy toes, horse and carriage, after party, flip cup, potent wine, fire pit, roasting marshmallows, tipsy phone calls to a handsome gentleman, sweet drunken texts, "You are my grasshopper", warm heart, glow, drunk bus, bed, 7am, wobbly legs, 6 hour drive, Where the Wild Things Are, 2-hour phone call, more glow, collapse, pleasant dreams.


Photos to come.

Fair thee well

Having just got back from seeing Julie & Julia, I am now in the proper mind frame to talk about this. Never mind that were Julia Child alive she would be horrified at what we ate last weekend. The point is that the movie made me hungry. Just like the fair makes me hungry.

This year the fellow fair attendants were: Kelly (of course), Mike (YAY! I missed him so much!), Krista and Christopher. Driving up to Jersey it was just Kelly, Mike and I in one car, and when Kelly turned the car on, I channeled my mother for a minute and gleefully yelled out "Roomie Car!" It had been ages since I'd seen Mike, and I don't care. It was nice having just the three of us, together again.

Once we had all reached Kelly's parent's house, it was time to head to the Fair. Per tradition, we take the Falcon to the Fair. However, this year we originally thought we would have too many people to take just one car. So Kelly's dad, being awesome, got her sister Danielle's Falcon ready too. Only issue? It's stick. Specifically, a "Three on the Tree." Out of all of us, Krista was the only one who knows how to drive stick, and being a car lover, was stoked to drive it – even though we technically didn't need to take two cars anymore.

Krista is brave of heart. I rode with her to the fair, and let me just tell you: That car is not messing around. It is a tricky beast. As it's from the 60s, it's a bit...old. And not particularly fond of idling. And for a while there, the drive to the fair was all bumper to bumper at lights. And so, it would stall. And then when she had to put it into first gear (I assume it was first gear. My car shifts automatically, so what do I know?) the car would make this awesome clunking farty noise. We were so so cool driving in that thing. And then once we reached the fair grounds, they made us park on a hill. I swear, never in all the time we've been going to the fair have we ever had to park on a hill. Of course it would be this year. But like I said, Krista is incredible and rocked it.

And then...oh the fair. Oh, the food. The week before we went to the fair, Kelly's mom called her and told her that they had extended the main food aisle. We sort of thought she meant that they had just moved food from other locations. But no. There was somehow more food at the fair this year. And so the theme this year was about branching out and trying new things.

Full list:

• Corn! (Krista went back for seconds, later in the day!)
  
• Red velvet cupcakes
  
• Rice Krispie Treats
  
• Baked Potatoes of the Lord
  
• Nachos (A new fair food this year! I tweeted a photo to show how amazing they were)
  
• Mini Donuts (Another new fair food. They literally melted in our mouths. Awesome.)
  
• Watermelon
  
• Beef jerky
  
• Corn Dog
  
• Fudge
  
• Gyro
  
• London Broil Sandwich
  
• Ice cream
  
• Frozen chocolate covered banana
  
• Pretzel
  
• Pickle
  
• Ice cream waffle sandwich
  
• Bratwurst
  
• Kettle Corn
  
• Deep fried pickles (another new food item, also awesome)

And then we were sufficiently stuffed. For all of 2 hours. Because when we got back to Kelly's parent's house? We ate some cake. And uh, then Kelly made onion dip and we ate that with some chips. And then, since it was Danielle's belated birthday, had some ice cream cake with her to celebrate. And then we were finally full. For a little while.

Driving back from the fair was also an adventure. Namely that Danielle's Falcon stalled on the hill and had to be pushed by Kelly, Mike, and Christopher. While I was particularly useless and stood with the other, idling Falcon.

And speaking of being useless and motor vehicles...I should just not drive things other than my own car. Because that evening after we got back, we went tooling around the property on the golf cart and I took a turn driving it. And I may have nearly flipped the golf cart whilst trying to take a turn too fast and barreling downhill. Whatever. The point is that I didn't actually flip the golf cart, I merely flung Kelly and Christopher violently out of it while taking that turn. Later, because apparently they hadn't learned from the golf cart incident, they offered me a turn driving one of the mini motorcycles Kelly's dad just purchased. Yeah, I drove that thing for about three seconds and realized that motorcycles? Not for me. I'm not exactly sure what I looked like driving that thing, but it was enough to nearly make Christopher wet his pants laughing at me. Never forget how awesome I am.

Now that Fat Kid Weekend is over, I came to the harsh realization that I need to fit into a dress for Murder! and...yeah. Kind of fat rolly over here. Time for crash dieting, friends.

Previous Fair Entries:

Fair 2006
Fair 2007
Fair 2008

Summer of Fun: 2009

Back in the day, when we were living in Ardmore, Kelly, Marion and I would write out long lists of all the crazy things we wanted to do that summer. They varied from the ridiculous — "model nude for an art class" — to the simple and fun — "visit Jenkins Arboretum."

Now that I have no longer have school to worry about (although the impending student loan payments are starting to make me nervoth!), I hereby declare this to be the SUMMER OF FUN 2009!

So far, the following fun has been had:

Seeing MC Chris with Justine and Matt at the First Unitarian.

This was just so rad. I had never seen MC Chris live before, nor had I ever been to a "nerd core" show, so imagine my delight when there were people dressed up as Stormtroopers and Chewbacca, to say nothing of the guy creating a ruckus wearing a Cobra Commander hood. Oh, nerds. MC Chris himself was, of course, hilarious, great and fun. We were all dancing and singing along. But my biggest love for MC Chris came when he kicked two guys behaving like assholes right out of the venue. He stopped the show, publicly humiliated them for their drunken smack-ass behavior, and then had security escort them out. And then when one of them snuck back in, MC Chris did it again, nearly reducing said asshole to tears. Awesome, if only because I have to put up with That Guy at all shows I go to, and it was so nice to have someone call them on their behavior.

We got to meet MC Chris after the show too, and he was nice enough to sign our stuff and pose for pictures. I love how MC Chris and Matt are SO TOUGH and I'm all la la la butterflies in that shot.

Start of 2009 Softball Season

I actually missed the first two games of the season because I was finishing school, but the weather has caused a number of postponements, so I was able to go to their third game where they trounced the other team 19-7, inciting the mercy rule and ending the game in the 5th inning. I can't wait for future games and the inevitable photo-taking that will ensue.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK!

Quiet Kate and I have a joke about how all Katies are similar in this certain intangible, yet awesome way. We called it "A Kate Thing." We even had the beginnings of a theme song Ain't Nothin' But a Kate Thing, set, obviously, to Snoop Dogg's and Dr. Dre's Ain't Nothin but a G Thang. Never in my life, however, did I feel like the "Kate Thing" was so true than when I went to Wales and met another girl named Katie from DC. Turns out she and I have been living parallel lives — right down to our dumb boy troubles. She and I clicked instantly, discovered freakish 6-degrees-of-separation-like links in our friends, and promised to keep in touch after the conference.

So you can imagine how pleased I was when Kate invited me to come up to New York with her for a day and see the new Coraline musical. Uh, YES PLEASE. So this past Saturday I took the Chinatown Bus up to NYC (ticking off something on my to-do list, as I've wanted to do the "Dragon Express" for ages), figured out the subway with moderate success*, walked around in circles in the East Village (seriously, Bleecker Street intersects with everything, somehow), window-shopped, took some photos with my new HOLGA, and of course saw Coraline. We also ate lunch at Jekyll and Hyde where we were charged $4.50 for the entertainment, and got lost trying to find the hidden bathroom.

As for Coraline, I liked it a lot, but I also had Issues with it, because I'm an picky theatre person. I blame my brother for this entirely. The acting, the music, the songs, the set: All fantastic. I had one issue with the set (which is static and doesn't change): two long florescent light bulbs that ran floor-to-ceiling stage right at different angles, and in my opinion, caused some needless viewing obstruction. Although, when they came on, the lighting effect was cool. I just think there was a better way to do it. I had issues with some of the writing, mostly, though. It's a bit uneven. The play narrates too much of itself, in my opinion. Lots of Coraline saying things like, "I'm outside now," or "Later, in a dream..." Things like that. I guess the play does this to help little kids make the leaps in the imagination needed to see things (the show asks you to stretch your imagination a lot, which I actually loved), but I would have rather they figured out a way to SHOW us these things via blocking, lighting effects, whatnot than TELL us. I guess the main problem I see with the show is that it doesn't quite know if it's for young kids or adults. It's a fair problem, given the source material, but the show needs to decide. I also feel like this show came together rather quickly and possibly could have benefited from another month or two in workshop to address these problems. As is, it's a good show — with many brilliant elements — that could have been an AMAZING show. So close.

Still, I loved many things about the show and it's a great story regardless, so I was glad I got to see it and doubly glad I got to see it with such cool people. If you're in New York, I recommend checking it out, because despite the problems I mentioned, it's still a good time.

*They're doing work on the F line and if you're headed downtown, it switches over to the A line. Which I didn't realize until we were nearly in Brooklyn. Whoops.

BBQ FUN

Christopher had a BBQ on Sunday and Deb and Brian had one on Monday night. I am all about these, people. Hand me a glass of white wine, some grilled corn on the cob and I am SET. Also, Christopher's BBQ had the fun of Fat Kid Badminton (we were all so full!) and successful and amazing grilled S'more pies. Oh! And Renee was there, visiting from Chicago. Good times!

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Still to come in THE SUMMER OF FUN 2009:


Cinematic Titanic @ the Troc

Oh man. I cannot tell you how stoked I am for this. Those MSTie kids are doing a live show in Philly, and Stephanie, Henry and I are going. The squee will be infinite!

The New York Dolls, also @ the Troc

Oh, HELL YES. Also going to this with Stephanie, because we are just that cool.

Midsummer

Nothing overly exciting, I'm just looking forward to it.

Mermaid Parade at Coney Island

Kelly was the first one to come up with this, and every year we forget to go. It's the day after Midsummer, though. I am still hoping that we can figure out a way to do it, though it might be a bust.

Blobfest 09/Bastille Day 09

This one is tinged with a bit of saddness as this will be my first Blobfest without Renee. Still, Mikey Likes It is willing to take up her mantle, so off we go! As you can see by my pictures from years past, what a silly great time that is.

Same weekend is of course Bastille Day at ESP, which I'm game for some storming and beheading again.


Herbal Workshop

Finally! I can learn how to plant properly and all kinds cool uses for herbs and how to make teas and such. I think this is going to be fun.

NJ State Fair

Oh yes. I can feel the heartburn starting in anticipation, but I shall not let that thwart me.

Photography, Photography, Photography

I have no excuse for not doing it now. Also, Jim and Stephanie like to spoil me and gifted me with a HOLGA, and I am super excited. I'm thinking about taking a photography class of some sort, so I can better learn what the hell I'm doing. If you hear of any, let me know.

Zineography

So I made a zine as part of my thesis, and I'd like to do more stuff with it. Expand it, distribute it, do another issue, something. More on this in another entry, hopefully.

Summer Reading

You know something great? When you're done with grad school, you can read whatever you want! I've just begun Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which is just as ridiculous and silly as you can imagine. I've also begun the Preacher series, which honestly, I'm having trouble getting hooked on. I'm surprised, given how much awesome I've heard about it. I'm going to stick with it though, and see where it goes.

Visiting Renee in Chicago

SO GEEKED FOR THIS. I can't wait. I've never been to Chicago. This will be fun. Not only will I get to see Renee, but also Joe! and Wildman. RAD.

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I'm sure more will be added to this list. There are other random things happening: strawberry picking, tubing, roller skating, and street fairs. WELCOME SUMMER, WELCOME!

Missing in Action

As much as I am loathe to admit it -- I'm simply not ready -- it's fall. And per usual, I'm running in about 17 directions at once. Sadly, it's not for anything particularly exciting: work, school, photography, blah. Basically, it's nothing worth blogging about. However, knowing how upset some of you get when I don't post (Christopher), here's what I've been up to lately:

• Work. Yeah, nothing too earth-shattering there. Editorial Conference is this week, but seeing as I have been relieved of my video duties, for the most part I am at my leisure this year.
  
  
• School. I'm taking Elements of Design, which is actually turning out to be pretty rad. There's only two of us in the class, so I'm surprised that Rosemont didn't just go ahead and cancel it. But it's ended up being a good thing. Since it's just the two of us it's allowed the instructor to completely revamp the syllabus to suit our needs. And given that I've been bitching for the past two years that Rosemont needs more advanced design classes, it's so fucking nice to be getting personalized attention like this. However, class is on Saturdays. Which sucks.
  
  
• Oh, Rosemont. While on the subject of school, there's about 15 levels of DRAMA and ISSUES going on over there. Luckily, most of it has nothing to do with me and I've managed to remain uninvolved. I do, however, have to hear about it from everyone and their Mom. So while I've had a mostly positive experience there, I am very glad that this is my final semester.
  
  
• Oh yeah. Thesis. I couldn't find an adviser. But now I have one, so I need to get to work.
  
  
• Panicking about Wales. Don't ask. No, don't. I told you not to as-- Fine. No, it's not done yet. No, I haven't done that either. Or that. Yes, I know. I KNOW. I AM AWARE. Please bite me.
  
  
• Living with Gary. It's going quite well. We've begun setting up the reading room (!), hung most of the artwork (!!!), and the kitties are getting along well.
  
  
• Bonus to living with Gary: Yesterday morning, I rolled out of bed, walked downstairs and sleepily collapsed on the couch to pet kitties. Gary wordlessly got up from his seat, walked to the kitchen, and returned with a cup of coffee for me. LOVE HIM.
  
  
• Slowly making my way through all of Gary's awesome DVD collection. Now that we no longer have regular TV, it's allowed me to revisit some old favorites. We're currently zipping through The West Wing.
  
  
• Obsessing over the polls. I swear to all that is good and holy, if McCain/Palin wins this thing America is DEAD to me.
  
  
• Making my skin soft and supple. Leslie is now a Mary Kay consultant. She might as well be dealing me crystal meth. I can attest that the Microdermabrasion stuff and Satin Lips are both awesome.
  
  
• Other things, which are not exactly prudent to blog about, but are indeed fun. Suffice to say, it's making me a happy girl, so I'm going to keep doing it.
  
  
• No, I'm not going to elaborate. Shut up and leave me alone.
  
  
• Taking part in a staged reading this Friday at Rosemont. I play Jill, a 20-something teacher in love with her boyfriend Chris. I haven't acted in a play since the 7th grade One Act Plays where I played "Doctor #2" in the acclaimed "Doctor, Doctor!" And there's a reason. I feel all awkward outside of the light booth.
  
  
• Redesigning my brothers site, which I've done, but it still looks like ass and I swear if I don't get myself some hard core coding training sometime in the near future, I will EAT my FACE.
  
  
• Trying, in vain, to get in shape for another 5K. I was actually going to do one this past Sunday, but ended up punking out. So now Stephanie is on my ass (right where I like her) to do this one in October.
  
  
• The new season of Heroes beginning tonight! Thanks, Renee. Because I needed another sci-fi show to be obsessed about.

Good and Bad

The good part of having whooping cough:

• Everyone is all impressed with your exotic disease. People keep asking if you'll be diagnosed with scurvy next.
  
  
• You can one-up everyone else in your office who is sick. "Well, I see your influenza and raise you WHOOPING COUGH."
  
  
• Fun puns all around! "Can I get a whoop, whoop?" "Don't piss me off, lest I open a can of WHOOPING COUGH on your ass." "Well if it's a WHOOPIN' you're wanting, you've come to the right place!"
  
  
• Dropping two pounds because the antibiotics make you completely uninterested in food.

The bad part of having whooping cough:

• Actually having whooping cough, which, for the record, sucks.
  
  
• People who back away from you and hide under their shirts all, "OhmyGOD, are you CONTAGIOUS?" and then having to launch into the whole explanation about how you were, but aren't anymore.
  
  
• Feeling as though your entire lifeforce has been zapped from your body.
  
  
• Missing out on cool activities since you've been convalescing.

The Best News: I think I'm finally Whooping Cough free! Well, mostly. I still have a residual cough. But I'm done with antibiotics and I feel pretty normal. This concludes the Whooping Cough Blog of '08, may I never mention having whooping cough here again.

Woo! Saturday!

Saturday I had a great day. Such a great day, it's worth noting it here in List Form:

• 10:30am - Yard Sales and Conshohocken Flea Market. Truthfully, both the yard sales and the flea market were disappointing. Only things purchased were a book (Girl With A Pearl Earring, from Krista. And as a side note, I love you Krista, but you were charging waaaay too much for your books. For real. Even with the price cut you gave me, it was outrageous. I've never paid more than 50 cents for a paperback book at yard sale/flea market/thrift store. You're from Jersey, you should know these things) and an old cast-iron skillet for a quarter since I thought it could come in handy for camping next weekend. Still, it was fun driving around with Kelly and Christopher, pulling multiple U-turns on the streets of Conshohocken in an effort to follow posterboard signs and giggling at the weird items people were selling (best one: An incubator).
  
  
• 12:00pm - Lunch at Paoli Diner. It is beyond me how I had never eaten at the Paoli Diner until Saturday. Whenever I would pass by, it always seemed so uppidy and un-diner like that I wasn't interested. I was pleased to discover that it is owned by the same people who own Manilla's in Wayne. The only reason it looks uppidy is because it used to be an Uno Pizzaria or something. I ate a gyro the size of my face. And it was awesome. Tziki, I love you.
  
  
• 1:15pm - Plant shopping. I was just tagging along with Kelly as she bought a Venus fly trap, but then a leafy green thing spoke to me. I don't know the name of the type of plant he is, but I call him George. Or Schubert. Or Hubert. I don't really know. I'm still trying out names.
  
  
• 2:30pm - Mr. Bean Movie. It was funny. Only slightly less funny than the glory days of the TV show*, it's worth seeing if you're a Mr. Bean fan. Mainly, it was a nice escape from the hot hot sun.
  
  
• 4:30pm - Books Are Good For My Mind. Post movie, I made my way over to Stephanie's house, and from there we headed off to Barnes & Noble where we bought books. Because they are good for our minds, see? It should be noted that book shopping is on the list of Things Katie & Stephanie Should Not Do Together, Because Neither One Has Restraint And They Will Spend A Bajillion Dollars. I'm not sure what else is on that list. Shoe shopping, probably. I ended up buying 3 books and a magazine. Yes, I still need a bookcase. No, I currently don't have room for anymore books. Yes, you should shut up.
  
  
• 7:00pm - We are Winos. Because we didn't spend enough money on books, Stephanie and I then went to buy wine. Stephanie is currently trying to school my ass in wine, since I choose wine on the basis of "That sounds fun!" or "Red Bicycle, what a whimsical name! I'll have a glass!" and "What a pretty red color! Yes, please!" Apparently, this makes me an absolute Philistine. So she's trying to teach me.
  
  
• 8:00pm - Tattoozles! Stephanie wanted a couple tattoos so I decided to tag along and photograph the event. Tattooing is another thing you shouldn't let me witness. Because I'm an instigator. And an encourager. And general trouble maker. Anyway, I watched and clicked while Stephanie got her tattoos. It should be noted that Tim, the tattoo artist, was the most polite, soft spoken, easygoing tattoo guy ever. Lord knows he put up with my obnoxious photo taking anyway. Speaking of which, I took many pictures. So many, in fact, that I'm not done editing/uploading them yet. Here's one to tide you over until the big photo post:
  
  
  
  No, I'm not telling you what tattoo(s) she got. That's a surprise for next time.
  
  
• 10:10pm - Thai food, wine tasting, and Rustin-loving. Stephanie cooked a delicious late dinner for me. It was spicy Thai avocado goodness. I tried to open wine and sucked at life. Rustin is my favorite dog.
  
  
• 11:00pm – Dr. Who. Ok, so I’ve been meaning to get into Dr. Who for awhile now, since I’ve heard such good things about the new series. Stephanie, having brilliant foresight, purchased the series on DVD. Together we watched 3 episodes, got way too creeped out by the Autons and overly enjoyed Christopher Eccleston’s cheeky performance as The Doctor. Everyone says that David Tennant is a great Doctor too, so we’re excited to get to season two.
  
  
• 1:30am – Chatting with Jim. Jim arrived home late from the Orioles/Red Sox game and we chatted for a long time about various sundry things, until it was time to haul my tired ass home.

And that, my friends, is how you have the best Saturday.

*I finally found a YouTube video of one of my favorite sketches. It's fuzzy and has Asian sub-titles, but you get the idea.

Big Decisions

PROS
It's a writing job
It's more money with bigger yearly bonuses
A chance to see my work get published on a monthly basis
Good networking opportunities
Possibility of travel
Looks great on my resume/good foot in the door for more serious magazine work

CONS
Technical writing, so it's boring and not creative at all and I don't care about subject matter
If I get the raise I expect next month, the money and bonuses pretty much equal out
I would work in close contact, on a daily basis, with someone I really dislike
In fact, this person would be my boss
And this person drives me insane as it is
And the work I would be doing is all his bitch-work that he really should be doing anyway
I would have to work on a PC (yes, this is a most definite CON)
I actually like production work and I would miss it a great deal
High, high stress levels


I think I know what my decision is. What would you do?

Inappropriate Office Behavior

My office is undergoing some pretty extensive renovations right now and as a part of that we're getting some much needed new carpeting. For real, the carpeting in our office was so old and tattered -- there were rips and holes where the seams were, including a very obnoxious one that stretched from the center of my cube, across the aisle, into my neighbor's cube and all the way to the next row, causing people to trip as they walked to the windows and for our chair wheels to always be catching, leading to constant cursing and eventually the "repairing" of the carpet with duct tape. Classy. So needless to say, we're all pretty thrilled that we're getting new carpet, and pretty, colorful carpet at that.

The carpet installation is taking place at night when the office is closed and in sections so there's as little disruption as possible. Tonight is the night my section is being done, and in preparation we were asked to clean up any loose items from our desk/cubical areas, i.e. - Anything that's not your computer, phone, or in a drawer or cabinet needs to get boxed up and moved out of the way. In doing this, I discovered a couple of things: First, I have a lot of crap. Second, I have a lot of, uh, unorthodox items that reside in my cubical area. Check it out:

• A Gonzo figure
  
• A Kermit the Frog figure
  
• A California Raisin figure
  
• A foam stress toy in the shape of a penguin. I've named him Pavlo
  
• A mini inflatable nun. I call her "Sister Mary Gettowork"
  
• A fork twisted in the shape of a cricket
  
• A tiny koosh toy fashioned to look like a hippo
  
• Two slinky toys
  
• An orange TMBG foam finger
  
• A stuffed goose dog toy whose squeaker is broken
  
• Two Fraggle Rock Happy Meal toys
  
• Two Balsa Wood airplanes (a gift from a coworker who knew how much The Cartoonist and I enjoyed throwing paper airplanes when work got boring)
  
• Frisbee
  
• A "Chicken Chucker" toy gun
  
• A neon yellow wig
  
• A tube of hair gel that, in addition to providing excellent hold, also makes the user's hair bright orange
  
• Purple face paint
  
• A bubble blowing gun
  
• Bubbles
  
• A cow figurine with several rotating outfits, depending on the weather and her mood
  
• Silly String
  
• Various photographs of my coworkers in states of inebriation
  
• An empty fish tank (I used to have fish, but they died. I'm getting new fish next week, I swear)

I think that maybe this might be why I haven't gotten a promotion yet.

Prep Work

I currently have in my possession the following:

• An assortment of chick-flicky movies, including this one which involves Hugh Laurie DANCING THE SAMBA throughout. Need I tell you that this is going to be the best movie EVER?
  
  
• Half a dozen trashy magazines including, Cosmo, US Weekly, People, Lucky, And some prom dress mag that Renee I will no doubt spend an hour going through and critizing the ass-ugly gowns.
  
  
• 3 bottles of discontinued nail polish that I bought on sale
  
  
• Face masks
  
  
• Chocolate

Still to procure: Box of wine and any other booze we want, Chinese Food. Renee is bringing darling Rhett with her, so that is taken care of. Are you a single woman with nothing exciting to do this evening? Well, come on down. It's going to be a good night.

The End: 2006

Ah, year end lists! How do I love thee? Namely since I get an easy-ass post out of you.

2006 was totally not the year I thought it would be. I'm still dumb enough to have that fresh faced idealism about every coming year so I went into 2006 doing my Snow Queen impression, all "Yes! Excellent! This rules!" I rang in 2006 with Luke, Leslie, Kelly and Phil drinking too many daiquiris, not dominating Scene It!, and getting assed in the face by Phil while playing Twister. Then, in true adult like fashion, I crashed on Luke and Leslie’s floor in a sleeping bag, woke up the next morning and ate my way through the greasy starchy delight that is a Bob Evan’s breakfast. With a start like that, how could 2006 possibly go bad?

Well. Let’s take a look, shall we?

2006: The Year of Sucky Men

Number of men that hit on me: 6

Number of men that hit on me at the singles mixer: 3

Number of men at singles mixer that were spazzing out screaming about how AWESOME Alice in Chains are, then blatantly staring at my tits while bragging about getting into 5 car crashes in 2 months, and then apropos of nothing yanking out a picture of their two year old son and thrusting it in my face, all while I tried to gracefully exit stage left: 1

Number of creepy men at singles mixer who stared at me and then grabbed me by the waist and then seriously told me that they had been looking for me all their life and tried to kiss me: 1

Number of seemingly nice men that hit on me at singles mixer: 1

Number of men I made out with at singles mixer: 1 (classy, right? With a capital ASS as the Redhead would say)

Number of dates that I got out of singles mixer: 1

Number of conversations I had with said guy post mixer before deciding he was kind of a tool: 1

Amount of time I spent weighing whether I should go out with him anyway: 1 day

Amount of mortification I felt when I discovered the lying douchebag was using me to cheat on his perfectly lovely girlfriend: infinity + 1

Amount of retribution and vindication I felt when I outed him to his girlfriend and the knowledge that she dumped his sorry ass and went on to better things: one million percent

Amount of love I had for the internet following that incident: tons

Number of men who hit on me despite being twice my age and married: 1

Number of men who hit on me while having a girlfriend, but were at least completely honest about it: 1

Number of men who said insulting things to me once they realized I wasn’t going to sleep with them: 2

Number of men who said insulting things to me without meaning to: 3

Amount of frustration I felt with Boy because he just doesn’t get it and never will, therefore I really truly and honestly give up: The entire month of March

Number of men who told me I’d be more "fuckable" if I lost 10 pounds: 1

Amount that I regretted not slapping the shit out of them after they said that: Every day that has followed

Number of perfectly nice, decent, attractive, smart, kind men that hit on me: 0

My message to men in 2007: Get your damn act together.

2006: The Year of Cancer and Sickness

Basically, everyone that I know has had someone close to them get cancer. And you know about the Doc, obviously. Which was, and continues to be awful. But yes, cancer decided to be all big and bad this year attacking people I care about or attacking the loved ones of people I care about. And Cancer, I got to tell you: Watch yourself. I am coming after you personally in 2007. I’ve decided that one of my resolutions is going to be to take part in cancer research fundraising somehow — be it the breast cancer walk like Coleen does or some donations to St. Jude’s or something. I don’t know. But I’m formulating a plan and you’re going down, Cancer. You’ve pissed me off to no end this year, and I’m not taking your shit in 2007.

2006: The Year of Brokeness

My blog, my cell phone, Stanley iBook, my car, my monitor at work, our garbage disposal, my DVD player, my bank account, and my sanity.

2006: You Basically Sucked

What’s the deal with that, 2006? Through the bad crap (which really hit hard in the second half of the year) there were moments of severe awesomeness and I am now going to recount them for you because I refuse to let the suckiness get the last word:

I turned 25
I got into and began graduate school
I carried a 4.0 this semester (which, no, I will not stop bragging about)
I rediscovered my crafty side and learned how to crochet and knit and began some other creatively stimulating projects.
My mentee and I really got along well
I completed 17 tasks off of my 101 in 1001 list
I met Michael Showalter (swoon)
I went camping with friends this summer, which was ridiculously fun
I got an iPod
I got Iris my lovely digital SLR
I met my photography-crush, JJ, and took a workshop with him
My brother remounted Tadhg and mounted Crazy Gary, both of which were quite successful
I saw They Might Be Giants and Henry Rollins
I was quoted in New York Magazine
A fun Haven girl lived with us for a month
I hosted Easter dinner for my family and made a bodacious lamb for the main course
I spent an entire weekend in Virginia Beach visiting the Fry with awesome friends
I saw Indian movies and loved them
I made myself slightly insane by dashing around helping with the EC videos, which got great kudos
I spent a lot of time partying with the Reings, Earnests, and of course the Dakes side of my family and realized that I possibly have the most complex, rich, and retardedly fun group of people to be related to.
I continue to be thankful for what have to be the two best roommates on the planet, Kelly and Mike
And I managed to score myself the best possible groups of friends a girl could hope for: 141, the ’03 Kids, Production Peeps, Writer friends, and now new Rosemonties.

So there it is. 2006 in quick review. Farewell, 2006. I cannot say I am sorry to see you end. 2007, I turn to you and greet you with open arms and say, "Yes! Excellent! This rules!"