I now present an actual phone call between your blogger and her roommate Mike, who is currently visiting family in Montana.
ME: Hey, how's Montana?
MIKE: Pretty good, listen: I just talked to the guy about the condo. Turns out his in-law really needed a place to live, so he got it instead. So it looks like you're stuck with me!
ME:...Uh...?
MIKE: And since I'm staying I think we should steam-clean the carpets.
ME: Um, OK, I guess.
MIKE: And I ordered a new couch and recliner. I think we should move the sofa we have to the side room and put the new stuff in the living room. Oh, and I want you to go half-and-half on the matching love seat with me. It's only something like $400.
*Sound of my head exploding*
FIN
ME: Hey, how's Montana?
MIKE: Pretty good, listen: I just talked to the guy about the condo. Turns out his in-law really needed a place to live, so he got it instead. So it looks like you're stuck with me!
ME:...Uh...?
MIKE: And since I'm staying I think we should steam-clean the carpets.
ME: Um, OK, I guess.
MIKE: And I ordered a new couch and recliner. I think we should move the sofa we have to the side room and put the new stuff in the living room. Oh, and I want you to go half-and-half on the matching love seat with me. It's only something like $400.
*Sound of my head exploding*
FIN
Labels: Rants
5 Comments:
He's totally off his tit, in't he?
I actually knew that was going to happen somehow. I would have fucked with him. Told him he'd been replaced and you hope his recliner looks nice on Lancaster Avenue.
I miss you.
Oh Jessica. I miss you too.
But back to my RAGE: Seriously, what the fuck? I'm not at all convinced that he's staying for good. I don't think he would have any qualms about ditching my ass again should another opportunity come up. And, really. It's a dick move. So much for 97 fucking percent sure he was leaving.
Meanwhile I've dragged poor Gary into the whole equation (Mike knew that I invited Gary to live with me too. Last night on the phone he said, "Oh, I hope that other guy hasn't broken his lease yet." Guess what? If he did, you're SOL man, because I'm not jerking Gary around like that) and now I look like an asshole AGAIN telling him now that I no longer need him to move in.
Also? That sofa/recliner bullshit? He tried to pull off "I think we should dress the place up now that I'm staying." Which, no. You bought that furniture for your new place, you knob, don't try to pass it off as you want to class up our apartment. Jackass.
I am waiting for him to come back from Montana before I go bitchcakes on him.
Dickwad.
A) Why can't Gary be the third person anyway? In my mind, it should be your call, not Mike's since... hello!
B) I would tell him to take the sofa and shove it up his ass sideways. You didn't help pick it out, you didn't agree to buy anything, and in a year or less, when he moves out, he's not going leave half the sofa behind, so what possible rationale is there for you paying for half of it?
Sonofabitch needs a good slapping....
Yeah. I'm not buying half of any love seat with him.
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