FRY: Oh. He gets -1 point for smoking.
ME: Yeah. But he gets +10 million points for being generally awesome.
FRY: Totally.
---
MAZZ: Would you look at them?
ME: I know. They are completely destroying my cynical outlook on romance and love.
MAZZ: Tell me about it.
---
LUKE: Well, we have to haze him.
ME: Actually, we don't. We're not the fraternity of Di Kappa Retarded.
LUKE: We can't just let him come in date Renee without seeing what he's made of.
ME: (hesitant to admit that he's got a small point) Just....go easy on him, OK?
LUKE: Fuck that. We're going in all Boondock Saints, "And Shepherds we shall be for thee, my Lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee and teeming with souls shall it ever be. In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti."
ME: Oh my fucking god.
HAVEN: No, we can't do that -- Renee doesn't know Boondock Saints.
ME: Really?
HAVEN: Nope, she fell asleep in the middle of it.
ME: Even with Willem Dafoe gaying it up and generally ROCKING OUT throughout the film?
HAVEN: She fell asleep.
ME: How is that possible?
LUKE: Well, whatever. We'll go in like Pulp Fiction then. "All right, everybody be cool, this is a robbery!...Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!"
ME: Oh my fucking god. This is exactly what Renee was afraid of.
---
HAVEN: (jumping out from behind the door jam and brandishing a water gun) YOUR CROTCH LOOKS HOT AND LIKE IT COULD USE SOME COOLING OFF!!! (begins firing water gun)
CHEESEGIMP: GAH! (laughter)
MIKE: (Yells something incomprehensible and begins firing his water gun)
CHEESEGIMP: (excessive laughter and screeching, the way one does when confronted by a sneak attack of water guns upon opening the door while completely unarmed)
ME: Heeeeee! Sorry. Our friends are twelve.
CHEESEGIMP: That was awesome! It made me feel like one of the gang.
ME: Aw.
LUKE: See? I told you we should haze him.
ME: Shut up.
---
ME, TO ANYONE WHO WOULD LISTEN: Oh, I adore him. He's perfect for her. Pardon me while my pancreas flops out from overload about sweet they are together.
---
Cheesegimp, you have whole-heartedly won our seal of approval. For cradling a tipsy Renee, for handling all of Haven's bizarre questions with general aplomb, for taking Amy's embarrassing questionnaire in stride, for declaring Yuengling "tasty", for being a good sport about our water attack, for rocking out on the Wii, for your fabulous loud laugh that mingled in perfectly with all of ours. But most of all for making Renee very very happy, just like she deserves to be.
P.S. — Happy 26th birthday, Renee. Every year that goes by makes me even more thankful that we're friends.
ME: Yeah. But he gets +10 million points for being generally awesome.
FRY: Totally.
---
MAZZ: Would you look at them?
ME: I know. They are completely destroying my cynical outlook on romance and love.
MAZZ: Tell me about it.
---
LUKE: Well, we have to haze him.
ME: Actually, we don't. We're not the fraternity of Di Kappa Retarded.
LUKE: We can't just let him come in date Renee without seeing what he's made of.
ME: (hesitant to admit that he's got a small point) Just....go easy on him, OK?
LUKE: Fuck that. We're going in all Boondock Saints, "And Shepherds we shall be for thee, my Lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee and teeming with souls shall it ever be. In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti."
ME: Oh my fucking god.
HAVEN: No, we can't do that -- Renee doesn't know Boondock Saints.
ME: Really?
HAVEN: Nope, she fell asleep in the middle of it.
ME: Even with Willem Dafoe gaying it up and generally ROCKING OUT throughout the film?
HAVEN: She fell asleep.
ME: How is that possible?
LUKE: Well, whatever. We'll go in like Pulp Fiction then. "All right, everybody be cool, this is a robbery!...Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!"
ME: Oh my fucking god. This is exactly what Renee was afraid of.
---
HAVEN: (jumping out from behind the door jam and brandishing a water gun) YOUR CROTCH LOOKS HOT AND LIKE IT COULD USE SOME COOLING OFF!!! (begins firing water gun)
CHEESEGIMP: GAH! (laughter)
MIKE: (Yells something incomprehensible and begins firing his water gun)
CHEESEGIMP: (excessive laughter and screeching, the way one does when confronted by a sneak attack of water guns upon opening the door while completely unarmed)
ME: Heeeeee! Sorry. Our friends are twelve.
CHEESEGIMP: That was awesome! It made me feel like one of the gang.
ME: Aw.
LUKE: See? I told you we should haze him.
ME: Shut up.
---
ME, TO ANYONE WHO WOULD LISTEN: Oh, I adore him. He's perfect for her. Pardon me while my pancreas flops out from overload about sweet they are together.
---
Cheesegimp, you have whole-heartedly won our seal of approval. For cradling a tipsy Renee, for handling all of Haven's bizarre questions with general aplomb, for taking Amy's embarrassing questionnaire in stride, for declaring Yuengling "tasty", for being a good sport about our water attack, for rocking out on the Wii, for your fabulous loud laugh that mingled in perfectly with all of ours. But most of all for making Renee very very happy, just like she deserves to be.
P.S. — Happy 26th birthday, Renee. Every year that goes by makes me even more thankful that we're friends.
Labels: Happy Things, Romance
5 Comments:
Saturday night was definitely the best. I love us.
Y'all are freaks. For serious, yo. Oh, and I was on the patch when I came out to Philly. Your little cabal corrupted me.
Seriously, though... you people rock like Gibraltar. Mang, am I glad I came out there (and I'm glad I checked Teh Interwebs on my lunch break today).
Oh, I know. And seriously, you earned 5 points and a 1UP when I heard that you wear the patch whenever Renee comes to Chicago and that you were wearing one on the plane to Philly.
Truth be told, we really don't mind smoking that much, seeing as about half of the group does it. We just needed to find something to dislike about you and we were hard pressed. Smoking was it.
And now that we're BFFs, I'm so coming to Chicago and taking pictures of your band. It was a blast meeting you, man.
http://www.trailerspy.com/hidden/the-top-15-trailer-remixes-of-all-time/
go down a bit and the Number 3 = 10 COMMANDMENTS!! It's hysterical, alot of these are funny, but my personal favorite is the Mary Poppins one.
Awww, sounds like my group when Puz came up for the first time! Cuteness.
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