The phrase “Sack up, ho,” is a brilliant turn of speech. I’m not sure who coined it, exactly, but I first became aware of it from the Fug Girls. The Redhead and I were just talking about it, about how it can have various awesome connotations. It can mean “Look at what you’re wearing,” or “Get off my man and get your own.” It’s something you say to the drunk ass girl at the bar falling over herself after too many tequila shots or to your old college roommate when she’s obviously cheating at Phase 10. It’s versatile, succinct, brilliant.
In my case, it means “get yourself together, woman.”
After the comment from B, I spent the next couple of days feeling quite sad. Not so much in the feeling sorry for myself sense, or being down on myself for being hideous or anything like that. Because lately I’ve felt quite good about me: I like my current haircut. I’ve been going to the gym regularly and already I feel better and can see a slight difference. I know I’m cute in an offbeat way. And almost immediately following the comment, all my friends came out of the woodwork to validate my awesomeness — I got emails saying “you’re funny and smart and I love you. B is a twit!” (How much do I love my friends, by the way? SO MUCH) So it wasn’t that I was feeling so awful about myself per say, it was more this awful feeling of alienation. Plain and simple: Men just don’t get me. And it’s sort of hard to figure out how to deal with that. And it makes me sad. Particularly when I see the cute guy I’ve secretly been keeping my eye on start hitting on the most vapid of girls who can barely dress herself. It’s frustrating in ways I can’t even express.
But after a couple of days of feeling sad and alienated, I was done. I laid in bed and mentally said, “Sack up, ho.” Wallowing can be good, and it certainly helps Ben and Jerry stay in business, but it has its place and time and now it’s over. Shake it off. Sack up, ho, and move on.
Then yesterday happened. To be brief: yesterday sucked gigantic goat balls. I fucked up so huge at work, probably the most I’ve screwed up since I began working here two years ago. And making it really special was the fact that it wasn’t just a quick thoughtless mistake, turns out that I was slowly fucking up over a period of months. Awesome! Round about 2pm I found myself with huge knots in my stomach and alternately wanting to go home and crawl under the covers and cry myself crazy or just drive off a cliff into the local quarry, Thelma and Louise style. Thankfully, Miss J was available for a walk and managed to talk me down and convince me that I wasn’t going to be shit canned for this. And also thankfully, my boss took the whole thing in stride and was pretty tolerant of my retardedness, saying “Well, these are things to learn from.” After facing the music with my boss, I came back to my desk and took a good look at everything in my to-do box. And the fact was, it was a mess. I’ve had so many balls in the air these past couple months: my pub, the redesign of the pub, rebranding, the new digital version coming out in October, new logos, the video project, all of this crap, plus the thing that I dropped the ball on…it was no wonder something had suffered. But I don’t want to sound all wah-wah woe is me, because a good deal of the blame lies with me for not being more organized and managing my time better. In a word, “Sack up, ho.” Get your shit organized and get your ass together. It’s crunch time, yo.
After a rough day, I had a short video shoot and then I went home. The first thing I did was grab some alcohol, because “Sack up, ho,” or not, I needed to unwind. I had made up my mind that I wasn’t going to go to the gym because 1) I didn’t feel like it, and 2) I didn’t feel like it, dammit. But Kelly was going and she offered to take me with her and even though I had already had a margarita which I knew wasn’t contusive to exercise, I took a look at myself, sitting in my room in my PJs at 8pm surrounded by magazine clippings and…Sack up, ho, and get your ass to the gym.
So much is starting to happen. I’m picking up my camera this weekend. I have 2 family reunions to attend over Labor Day. Orientation begins next week. My brother’s fringe show opens on Tuesday. Classes begin soon. Camping trip is next weekend. I need to finish my animation segment before my self-imposed deadline of the 13th so I don’t go krazy. It’s soon time to start editing. I’m still not done with that freakin’ freelance work.
And then, this morning walking into the my office, I caught sight of my reflection in the glass door to our building: Skirt wrinkled because I am too lazy to iron, hair windswept and crazy, no make up because I woke up late today, cat hair on my shirt, keys falling out of my purse. And then I took a moment to think back to my apartment: room a mess, pile of laundry the size of Mt. Kilimanjaro, garbage disposal broken, fridge and cabinets practically bare.
Sack up, ho, indeed.
In my case, it means “get yourself together, woman.”
After the comment from B, I spent the next couple of days feeling quite sad. Not so much in the feeling sorry for myself sense, or being down on myself for being hideous or anything like that. Because lately I’ve felt quite good about me: I like my current haircut. I’ve been going to the gym regularly and already I feel better and can see a slight difference. I know I’m cute in an offbeat way. And almost immediately following the comment, all my friends came out of the woodwork to validate my awesomeness — I got emails saying “you’re funny and smart and I love you. B is a twit!” (How much do I love my friends, by the way? SO MUCH) So it wasn’t that I was feeling so awful about myself per say, it was more this awful feeling of alienation. Plain and simple: Men just don’t get me. And it’s sort of hard to figure out how to deal with that. And it makes me sad. Particularly when I see the cute guy I’ve secretly been keeping my eye on start hitting on the most vapid of girls who can barely dress herself. It’s frustrating in ways I can’t even express.
But after a couple of days of feeling sad and alienated, I was done. I laid in bed and mentally said, “Sack up, ho.” Wallowing can be good, and it certainly helps Ben and Jerry stay in business, but it has its place and time and now it’s over. Shake it off. Sack up, ho, and move on.
Then yesterday happened. To be brief: yesterday sucked gigantic goat balls. I fucked up so huge at work, probably the most I’ve screwed up since I began working here two years ago. And making it really special was the fact that it wasn’t just a quick thoughtless mistake, turns out that I was slowly fucking up over a period of months. Awesome! Round about 2pm I found myself with huge knots in my stomach and alternately wanting to go home and crawl under the covers and cry myself crazy or just drive off a cliff into the local quarry, Thelma and Louise style. Thankfully, Miss J was available for a walk and managed to talk me down and convince me that I wasn’t going to be shit canned for this. And also thankfully, my boss took the whole thing in stride and was pretty tolerant of my retardedness, saying “Well, these are things to learn from.” After facing the music with my boss, I came back to my desk and took a good look at everything in my to-do box. And the fact was, it was a mess. I’ve had so many balls in the air these past couple months: my pub, the redesign of the pub, rebranding, the new digital version coming out in October, new logos, the video project, all of this crap, plus the thing that I dropped the ball on…it was no wonder something had suffered. But I don’t want to sound all wah-wah woe is me, because a good deal of the blame lies with me for not being more organized and managing my time better. In a word, “Sack up, ho.” Get your shit organized and get your ass together. It’s crunch time, yo.
After a rough day, I had a short video shoot and then I went home. The first thing I did was grab some alcohol, because “Sack up, ho,” or not, I needed to unwind. I had made up my mind that I wasn’t going to go to the gym because 1) I didn’t feel like it, and 2) I didn’t feel like it, dammit. But Kelly was going and she offered to take me with her and even though I had already had a margarita which I knew wasn’t contusive to exercise, I took a look at myself, sitting in my room in my PJs at 8pm surrounded by magazine clippings and…Sack up, ho, and get your ass to the gym.
So much is starting to happen. I’m picking up my camera this weekend. I have 2 family reunions to attend over Labor Day. Orientation begins next week. My brother’s fringe show opens on Tuesday. Classes begin soon. Camping trip is next weekend. I need to finish my animation segment before my self-imposed deadline of the 13th so I don’t go krazy. It’s soon time to start editing. I’m still not done with that freakin’ freelance work.
And then, this morning walking into the my office, I caught sight of my reflection in the glass door to our building: Skirt wrinkled because I am too lazy to iron, hair windswept and crazy, no make up because I woke up late today, cat hair on my shirt, keys falling out of my purse. And then I took a moment to think back to my apartment: room a mess, pile of laundry the size of Mt. Kilimanjaro, garbage disposal broken, fridge and cabinets practically bare.
Sack up, ho, indeed.
1 Comments:
Great Zeus, we had the SAME exact week!!!
I'm in the midst of sackin' up too. Perhaps we can make it a group project?
*there, there*
It will get better.
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