Inappropriate Office Behavior

My office is undergoing some pretty extensive renovations right now and as a part of that we're getting some much needed new carpeting. For real, the carpeting in our office was so old and tattered -- there were rips and holes where the seams were, including a very obnoxious one that stretched from the center of my cube, across the aisle, into my neighbor's cube and all the way to the next row, causing people to trip as they walked to the windows and for our chair wheels to always be catching, leading to constant cursing and eventually the "repairing" of the carpet with duct tape. Classy. So needless to say, we're all pretty thrilled that we're getting new carpet, and pretty, colorful carpet at that.

The carpet installation is taking place at night when the office is closed and in sections so there's as little disruption as possible. Tonight is the night my section is being done, and in preparation we were asked to clean up any loose items from our desk/cubical areas, i.e. - Anything that's not your computer, phone, or in a drawer or cabinet needs to get boxed up and moved out of the way. In doing this, I discovered a couple of things: First, I have a lot of crap. Second, I have a lot of, uh, unorthodox items that reside in my cubical area. Check it out:

• A Gonzo figure
  
• A Kermit the Frog figure
  
• A California Raisin figure
  
• A foam stress toy in the shape of a penguin. I've named him Pavlo
  
• A mini inflatable nun. I call her "Sister Mary Gettowork"
  
• A fork twisted in the shape of a cricket
  
• A tiny koosh toy fashioned to look like a hippo
  
• Two slinky toys
  
• An orange TMBG foam finger
  
• A stuffed goose dog toy whose squeaker is broken
  
• Two Fraggle Rock Happy Meal toys
  
• Two Balsa Wood airplanes (a gift from a coworker who knew how much The Cartoonist and I enjoyed throwing paper airplanes when work got boring)
  
• Frisbee
  
• A "Chicken Chucker" toy gun
  
• A neon yellow wig
  
• A tube of hair gel that, in addition to providing excellent hold, also makes the user's hair bright orange
  
• Purple face paint
  
• A bubble blowing gun
  
• Bubbles
  
• A cow figurine with several rotating outfits, depending on the weather and her mood
  
• Silly String
  
• Various photographs of my coworkers in states of inebriation
  
• An empty fish tank (I used to have fish, but they died. I'm getting new fish next week, I swear)

I think that maybe this might be why I haven't gotten a promotion yet.