Last week, Mike wrote me an email with a plan to get us to the airport 2 hours in advance for our flight to Providence so we could spend the weekend with Kate and Becky in CT/RI. I wrote back to him Wednesday afternoon.
"Besides the fact that I don’t think I can get out of work early, we don’t need to get to the airport 2 hours in advance. That’s just silly. I’ve done this flight a bunch of times and security is a breeze. You just walk through the metal detector and you’re done. I’ve never had any problems." I then wrote a plan out for us getting to the airport an hour in advance of our take off.
Of course, when I woke up Thursday morning, the day of our flight, everyone everywhere was freaking out about the thwarted terrorist plot in Britain.
Fuck you, terrorists.
And since, you know, it was headed our way, thank you, Britian.
And so with a heavy sigh and an eyeroll towards all the newscasters who were eating the story up like it was a fried Snickers, I wrote to Mike agreeing to his original plan. Our flight was scheduled to depart at 7:30pm. We arrived at the airport at 4:42pm (our train was early).
By 5:50 we were done checking our baggage. Normally I don’t even check baggage, since it’s a short trip and why take the chance of getting my stuff damaged or lost? People in the airports were all throwing out their shampoo and hair gel, but fuck that. I’m not buying new shit up there just to have to throw it out when I come back. So checking baggage it was. Also, we kind of had to go to the ticket counter because Thursday morning, Mike discovered he couldn’t print his boarding pass.
"Why not? I was able to."
"I don’t know. It says that I have to go to the ticket counter."
"That’s weird. Maybe because of the terrorist plot? Or maybe something with your computer wouldn’t let it process?"
No. Turns out? Mike was on a list. What list? The List. Yeah, that list. Now, if you know Mike, you know why that’s funny. He would never hurt a fly, but…he’s kind of a freak, you know? And I say that affectionately, as someone who is his friend. Of course, in typical Mike fashion, he was dressed in all black. Great. There’s been a thwarted terrorist plot, you’re on a suspected dangerous person list, and you’re wearing all black. No, you don’t seem conspicuous AT ALL. But a quick flash of a driver’s license and few keys tapped on the computer to prove he was, in fact, who he said he was, and that was not, in reality, a terrorist, and we were on our way.
After checking our baggage, security was kind of a breeze. Since, we really didn’t have any carry-on baggage, we walked through the metal detector, they x-rayed my purse (which had keys, phone, and a few magazines) and our shoes and we were done.
Once we got through the gate, it was wall to wall people spazzing out, mostly about their flights being delayed or their inability to take lip gloss with them on their flight. At our gate we learned that our flight was delayed an hour so we decided to kill some time in the best way possible: With booze. We headed to the airport bar/restaurant, which of course was crammed with people. We each got a drink, Mike got one that was the size of his head. We ordered our dinner, and managed to get a cook fired because we ordered an appetizer which the cook, for some reason, didn’t feel like making, and when our waitress had to serve us our meal prior to our appetizer, she got the manager to fire him. And we never even complained! She just got pissed at him.
After a dinner, there wasn’t much left to do so we headed to our gate where the hour delay transformed into to an hour and a half delay. And then a two hour delay. And so on and so on. We finally left shortly after midnight. Our pilot was really apologetic and floored it the entire way, getting us there at 12:45am.
It seems as though the new security is here to stay, which frankly, seems kind of silly now that the terrorists have been caught. Yeah, air travel does seem a little weird right now. But hey, at least all the delays and waiting in line allows for some interesting people watching…
"Besides the fact that I don’t think I can get out of work early, we don’t need to get to the airport 2 hours in advance. That’s just silly. I’ve done this flight a bunch of times and security is a breeze. You just walk through the metal detector and you’re done. I’ve never had any problems." I then wrote a plan out for us getting to the airport an hour in advance of our take off.
Of course, when I woke up Thursday morning, the day of our flight, everyone everywhere was freaking out about the thwarted terrorist plot in Britain.
Fuck you, terrorists.
And since, you know, it was headed our way, thank you, Britian.
And so with a heavy sigh and an eyeroll towards all the newscasters who were eating the story up like it was a fried Snickers, I wrote to Mike agreeing to his original plan. Our flight was scheduled to depart at 7:30pm. We arrived at the airport at 4:42pm (our train was early).
By 5:50 we were done checking our baggage. Normally I don’t even check baggage, since it’s a short trip and why take the chance of getting my stuff damaged or lost? People in the airports were all throwing out their shampoo and hair gel, but fuck that. I’m not buying new shit up there just to have to throw it out when I come back. So checking baggage it was. Also, we kind of had to go to the ticket counter because Thursday morning, Mike discovered he couldn’t print his boarding pass.
"Why not? I was able to."
"I don’t know. It says that I have to go to the ticket counter."
"That’s weird. Maybe because of the terrorist plot? Or maybe something with your computer wouldn’t let it process?"
No. Turns out? Mike was on a list. What list? The List. Yeah, that list. Now, if you know Mike, you know why that’s funny. He would never hurt a fly, but…he’s kind of a freak, you know? And I say that affectionately, as someone who is his friend. Of course, in typical Mike fashion, he was dressed in all black. Great. There’s been a thwarted terrorist plot, you’re on a suspected dangerous person list, and you’re wearing all black. No, you don’t seem conspicuous AT ALL. But a quick flash of a driver’s license and few keys tapped on the computer to prove he was, in fact, who he said he was, and that was not, in reality, a terrorist, and we were on our way.
After checking our baggage, security was kind of a breeze. Since, we really didn’t have any carry-on baggage, we walked through the metal detector, they x-rayed my purse (which had keys, phone, and a few magazines) and our shoes and we were done.
Once we got through the gate, it was wall to wall people spazzing out, mostly about their flights being delayed or their inability to take lip gloss with them on their flight. At our gate we learned that our flight was delayed an hour so we decided to kill some time in the best way possible: With booze. We headed to the airport bar/restaurant, which of course was crammed with people. We each got a drink, Mike got one that was the size of his head. We ordered our dinner, and managed to get a cook fired because we ordered an appetizer which the cook, for some reason, didn’t feel like making, and when our waitress had to serve us our meal prior to our appetizer, she got the manager to fire him. And we never even complained! She just got pissed at him.
After a dinner, there wasn’t much left to do so we headed to our gate where the hour delay transformed into to an hour and a half delay. And then a two hour delay. And so on and so on. We finally left shortly after midnight. Our pilot was really apologetic and floored it the entire way, getting us there at 12:45am.
It seems as though the new security is here to stay, which frankly, seems kind of silly now that the terrorists have been caught. Yeah, air travel does seem a little weird right now. But hey, at least all the delays and waiting in line allows for some interesting people watching…
1 Comments:
I wish we were certain that we had caught the terrorists, but it appears as though the Met police are having trouble charging these suspects with anything. And unfortunately, the more authoritarian wing of the population is calling for racial profiling in airports which I think is plain wrong. Sadly, this has all been caused by our governments train wreck of a foriegn policy, and you and I, the ordinary citizens are the ones who are suffering for it.
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