It is effing cold here. I know I shouldn't complain, because it's only 23° here with the wind chill making it feel like 8°, and meanwhile in Chicago it's 0° with the wind chill making it feel like -20°. NEGATIVE TWENTY. I call bullshit. Humans were not made to live in conditions like that.
But yes. It's still cold here and when I walked out to my car this morning, I discovered that the locks on my car were frozen. Fine. So I broke out my handy dandy lock de-icer, which I have just for this purpose. The directions on my de-icer clearly sate: "Insert tip of red nozzle into key hole and press against lock." People, that is exactly what I did. And this is what happened:
The tip of the de-icer broke in my lock.
Yes.
The only good thing about this, is that I decided to start on the passenger-side door, since my driver's side door gets seriously wonky in cold weather. So I called a tow truck and the tow truck man was incredibly nice to me. He muscled open my frozen driver's side door and told me that I shouldn't lock my doors in the cold. "You have a Ford. They suck. Just let someone steal it instead. If they're out stealing cars in this weather, in Malvern of all places, they deserve to get your car."
Meanwhile, I still have the tip of the de-icer jammed in my passenger side lock. The tow truck man told me that I should wait until it gets "warmer" and then fish it out with some needle-nose pliers. "I could do it for you now, but then I'd have to charge you, like, a ridiculous amount. Just do it tomorrow, when you have more time." I would like to thank Mr. Tow Truck Man and DiAntonio's Towing for not charging me for winter suck and my car doors being retarded.
Seriously, fuck off, winter.
But yes. It's still cold here and when I walked out to my car this morning, I discovered that the locks on my car were frozen. Fine. So I broke out my handy dandy lock de-icer, which I have just for this purpose. The directions on my de-icer clearly sate: "Insert tip of red nozzle into key hole and press against lock." People, that is exactly what I did. And this is what happened:
The tip of the de-icer broke in my lock.
Yes.
The only good thing about this, is that I decided to start on the passenger-side door, since my driver's side door gets seriously wonky in cold weather. So I called a tow truck and the tow truck man was incredibly nice to me. He muscled open my frozen driver's side door and told me that I shouldn't lock my doors in the cold. "You have a Ford. They suck. Just let someone steal it instead. If they're out stealing cars in this weather, in Malvern of all places, they deserve to get your car."
Meanwhile, I still have the tip of the de-icer jammed in my passenger side lock. The tow truck man told me that I should wait until it gets "warmer" and then fish it out with some needle-nose pliers. "I could do it for you now, but then I'd have to charge you, like, a ridiculous amount. Just do it tomorrow, when you have more time." I would like to thank Mr. Tow Truck Man and DiAntonio's Towing for not charging me for winter suck and my car doors being retarded.
Seriously, fuck off, winter.
Labels: General Whining
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