Listen: These are the things I need you to know about Renee.
Renee spells her name with an accent over the second to last e. I almost never put this accent in when I type it, but she never holds this against me nor corrects me.
Renee has the brightest smile.
Renee will be boldly venture across campus with you to scary upperclassmen dorms in the name of watching Mystery Science Theater 3000.
When you begin dating one of these scary upperclassmen and lose yourself for awhile, unable to figure out how to bridge yourself between two groups of friends, Renee will be so understanding, and welcome you back with open arms.
Renee is from Pittsburgh. She calls soda "pop," even though that is obviously wrong. She will very cutely try to argue this, saying things like "It doesn't go 'soda' when you open it, it goes 'POP!'" Then you'll then argue back "It doesn't go 'pop' either, it goes Ffsshhhhht. We don't call it Ffsshhhhht, do we? No, we call it 'soda' because it's from the old soda water, from soda fountains prior to WWII. Also because club soda contains sodium bicarbonate. So there." And then she'll shake her head and insist again it's called "pop."
Renee has particular affection for the Rocky Horror Picture Show. If you, like me, were raised in an household that never watched Rocky Horror, she won't judge you. Instead she'll slap your ass and call you a virgin.
Renee will write you long, angsty, emotional letters when you cut the brownies too soon.
Your first weekend of college, when most students go home, Renee will organize a field trip to the Philly airport via the trains, and you will all walk around the airport and then eat at a TGI Fridays.
Renee very well might have Mountain Dew running through her veins.
Renee is so fucking smart.
Renee is a brilliant writer. When she is published, I will hold up her book and say with pride, "My friend wrote this."
Renee has held up my drunk, crying ass more times than I'd like to admit. When I'm drunk and emotional, feeling down on myself for being alone or single, Renee has often been the one to pick me up, remind me that I'm not alone at all, and point out all of my good qualities. She's given me a good deal of "Sack up, ho" talks as well, shaking me out of my self-loathing by reminding me that if I'm not going to love myself, no one else will either.
Renee has laughed at my drunk, silly ass many times. And I've laughed at hers. When you're drunk and playing card games, or singing, or snuggling, or dancing, Renee is one of the best people to be with.
Renee will lust after British men with you.
If, on a random Tuesday evening at 1 am you accidentally discover porn on your cable, Renee will gleefully run to eat Girl Scout cookies and watch with you.
Renee is the best person to watch Gone with the Wind with. She will find symbolism and metaphors in there and provide literary analysis that will boggle your mind. She will also drool over Clark Gable with you, having no qualms that you've got heart palpitations for a dead guy.
Renee knows the best campfire songs.
Renee has a secret pact with some otherworldly being that she can watch a movie or hear a song one time and then instantly remember all the lyrics or the lines.
Renee is a pop culture wunderkind.
Renee is god-damned photogenic:
Renee will help you max out your credit card at Torrid.
Renee has the most amazing music collection.
Renee can not read hardcover books. You don't understand it, but you're not going to go there.
Renee will brave Philadelphia with you, figure out the trains, and walk to South Street to a Squirrel Nut Zippers concert with you in your first month of college.
Renee will bust into the college radio station, not caring if you're on the air, when she hears you have the new David Byrne album.
Renee gives awesome hugs.
Renee will squee with you when you meet famous people.
Renee will do poses with french fries in the middle of the night at scary Turnpike Burger Kings.
Renee will wear a t-shirt with the words, "Hey baby, how about a little civil disobedience" emblazoned across her boobs at your Martin Luther King, Jr. celebration.
Renee knows how to properly drink to "Exquisite Dead Guy."
Renee can pull off any hair color - brunette, blond, fiery red, black. I think in a previous life she was the master of disguise.
When you say things like "I'm outta heeeeeeeerre," or "He was. He was raised in a barn," Renee totally gets it.
Renee encourages you to be your best. When you're feeling insecure about your writing, or photography, or your educational abilities, Renee will be the first person to nudge you in the proper direction. She won't blow sunshine up your ass, but she'll politely critique you, giving you pointers on where to improve and how to move forward.
Renee can stomach looking at photos of ugly social diseases all day long.
Renee can do shots like no one's business.
Renee is the Queen of Hearts.
During the Grown Backwards Tour, when David Byrne launches into "U.B. Jesus," Renee will look at you, gasp excitedly, and then grab your hand and start dancing with abandon.
Renee was nicknamed "Miss Trippy" in college because of the number of times she fell down. One time, after swiffering the floor of your dorm room, Renee walked into your room in her stocking feet and slid, gliding briefly like an ice skater before pinwheeling her arms and falling to the floor. You all laughed so hard, you thought you would wet your pants.
Renee can play the bassoon. She will bond with you over being a band geek and is not afraid to show off her roll-step.
Renee once had gangrene. This officially make her pretty badass.
Renee will dork out with you about science fiction, obscure comedy shows, and musicals.
Renee loves to celebrate things. She'll be the first to break out Christmas decorations and put on the Rankin & Bass. She'll plan her Halloween costumes months in advance. When it's time for your birthday, she'll be the one who asks, "What are we doing?"
Renee tries to hide it, but she's a girly girl. She's got a big heart. She's affectionate, romantic, and caring, not to mention filled to the brim with passion. No wonder Joe! is so happy.
Even though Renee has found the love of her life, she will sit with your single self on Valentine's Day, eat chocolate, drink boxed wine, thumb through trashy magazines and watch bad movies starring Hugh Laurie.
Renee is really good at arguing and making a point. You want her on your side.
Renee can house your ass at trivia.
Renee likes to laugh. She likes to giggle and will find any excuse to do so. Often times Renee will make you laugh, because her laughter is contagious. Also, Renee is just naturally funny.
When Renee makes a mistake or something goes wrong, she will good-naturedly pump her fist and say, "Balls!"
Renee gets so insanely tan in the summer, your pasty Irish ass wants to slap her and steal all of her melanin.
Renee is brave. She is moving 737 miles away from everything and almost everyone she knows and starting a new chapter of her life. Some people never do that. They fill their lives with work, food and sleep, but never take any real risks. Renee is moving to a new city to be with the man she loves and to get another master's degree because she has a goal. And that goal is to be Dr. Tomcanin and to be happy. And if I know Renee (and I DO) she's going to reach that goal.
Renee is my friend. Renee is so many people's friends. Renee is a really good friend. Renee just might be the glue that holds this group of friends together.
I am going to miss Renee, so much.
Renee will have three homes: Pittsburgh, Chicago, and always Philadelphia. Always and forever.
Renee spells her name with an accent over the second to last e. I almost never put this accent in when I type it, but she never holds this against me nor corrects me.
Renee has the brightest smile.
Renee will be boldly venture across campus with you to scary upperclassmen dorms in the name of watching Mystery Science Theater 3000.
When you begin dating one of these scary upperclassmen and lose yourself for awhile, unable to figure out how to bridge yourself between two groups of friends, Renee will be so understanding, and welcome you back with open arms.
Renee is from Pittsburgh. She calls soda "pop," even though that is obviously wrong. She will very cutely try to argue this, saying things like "It doesn't go 'soda' when you open it, it goes 'POP!'" Then you'll then argue back "It doesn't go 'pop' either, it goes Ffsshhhhht. We don't call it Ffsshhhhht, do we? No, we call it 'soda' because it's from the old soda water, from soda fountains prior to WWII. Also because club soda contains sodium bicarbonate. So there." And then she'll shake her head and insist again it's called "pop."
Renee has particular affection for the Rocky Horror Picture Show. If you, like me, were raised in an household that never watched Rocky Horror, she won't judge you. Instead she'll slap your ass and call you a virgin.
Renee will write you long, angsty, emotional letters when you cut the brownies too soon.
Your first weekend of college, when most students go home, Renee will organize a field trip to the Philly airport via the trains, and you will all walk around the airport and then eat at a TGI Fridays.
Renee very well might have Mountain Dew running through her veins.
Renee is so fucking smart.
Renee is a brilliant writer. When she is published, I will hold up her book and say with pride, "My friend wrote this."
Renee has held up my drunk, crying ass more times than I'd like to admit. When I'm drunk and emotional, feeling down on myself for being alone or single, Renee has often been the one to pick me up, remind me that I'm not alone at all, and point out all of my good qualities. She's given me a good deal of "Sack up, ho" talks as well, shaking me out of my self-loathing by reminding me that if I'm not going to love myself, no one else will either.
Renee has laughed at my drunk, silly ass many times. And I've laughed at hers. When you're drunk and playing card games, or singing, or snuggling, or dancing, Renee is one of the best people to be with.
Renee will lust after British men with you.
If, on a random Tuesday evening at 1 am you accidentally discover porn on your cable, Renee will gleefully run to eat Girl Scout cookies and watch with you.
Renee is the best person to watch Gone with the Wind with. She will find symbolism and metaphors in there and provide literary analysis that will boggle your mind. She will also drool over Clark Gable with you, having no qualms that you've got heart palpitations for a dead guy.
Renee knows the best campfire songs.
Renee has a secret pact with some otherworldly being that she can watch a movie or hear a song one time and then instantly remember all the lyrics or the lines.
Renee is a pop culture wunderkind.
Renee is god-damned photogenic:
Renee will help you max out your credit card at Torrid.
Renee has the most amazing music collection.
Renee can not read hardcover books. You don't understand it, but you're not going to go there.
Renee will brave Philadelphia with you, figure out the trains, and walk to South Street to a Squirrel Nut Zippers concert with you in your first month of college.
Renee will bust into the college radio station, not caring if you're on the air, when she hears you have the new David Byrne album.
Renee gives awesome hugs.
Renee will squee with you when you meet famous people.
Renee will do poses with french fries in the middle of the night at scary Turnpike Burger Kings.
Renee will wear a t-shirt with the words, "Hey baby, how about a little civil disobedience" emblazoned across her boobs at your Martin Luther King, Jr. celebration.
Renee knows how to properly drink to "Exquisite Dead Guy."
Renee can pull off any hair color - brunette, blond, fiery red, black. I think in a previous life she was the master of disguise.
When you say things like "I'm outta heeeeeeeerre," or "He was. He was raised in a barn," Renee totally gets it.
Renee encourages you to be your best. When you're feeling insecure about your writing, or photography, or your educational abilities, Renee will be the first person to nudge you in the proper direction. She won't blow sunshine up your ass, but she'll politely critique you, giving you pointers on where to improve and how to move forward.
Renee can stomach looking at photos of ugly social diseases all day long.
Renee can do shots like no one's business.
Renee is the Queen of Hearts.
During the Grown Backwards Tour, when David Byrne launches into "U.B. Jesus," Renee will look at you, gasp excitedly, and then grab your hand and start dancing with abandon.
Renee was nicknamed "Miss Trippy" in college because of the number of times she fell down. One time, after swiffering the floor of your dorm room, Renee walked into your room in her stocking feet and slid, gliding briefly like an ice skater before pinwheeling her arms and falling to the floor. You all laughed so hard, you thought you would wet your pants.
Renee can play the bassoon. She will bond with you over being a band geek and is not afraid to show off her roll-step.
Renee once had gangrene. This officially make her pretty badass.
Renee will dork out with you about science fiction, obscure comedy shows, and musicals.
Renee loves to celebrate things. She'll be the first to break out Christmas decorations and put on the Rankin & Bass. She'll plan her Halloween costumes months in advance. When it's time for your birthday, she'll be the one who asks, "What are we doing?"
Renee tries to hide it, but she's a girly girl. She's got a big heart. She's affectionate, romantic, and caring, not to mention filled to the brim with passion. No wonder Joe! is so happy.
Even though Renee has found the love of her life, she will sit with your single self on Valentine's Day, eat chocolate, drink boxed wine, thumb through trashy magazines and watch bad movies starring Hugh Laurie.
Renee is really good at arguing and making a point. You want her on your side.
Renee can house your ass at trivia.
Renee likes to laugh. She likes to giggle and will find any excuse to do so. Often times Renee will make you laugh, because her laughter is contagious. Also, Renee is just naturally funny.
When Renee makes a mistake or something goes wrong, she will good-naturedly pump her fist and say, "Balls!"
Renee gets so insanely tan in the summer, your pasty Irish ass wants to slap her and steal all of her melanin.
Renee is brave. She is moving 737 miles away from everything and almost everyone she knows and starting a new chapter of her life. Some people never do that. They fill their lives with work, food and sleep, but never take any real risks. Renee is moving to a new city to be with the man she loves and to get another master's degree because she has a goal. And that goal is to be Dr. Tomcanin and to be happy. And if I know Renee (and I DO) she's going to reach that goal.
Renee is my friend. Renee is so many people's friends. Renee is a really good friend. Renee just might be the glue that holds this group of friends together.
I am going to miss Renee, so much.
Renee will have three homes: Pittsburgh, Chicago, and always Philadelphia. Always and forever.
Labels: Appreciation
2 Comments:
You flatter me, Miss Katie. I'm going to miss you like hell.
Wow. That was awesome.
Post a Comment
<< Home