Dear Warm Weather,
Well helllllllllooo there. I missed you all winter long. Don't ever leave me. I adore you. You make me feel happy and energetic.
Fondly,
EightK
--
Dear BBC,
Oh please, oh please, consider making Doctor Who available for download from iTunes. Because I would seriously fork over the $2.99 or I guess £ 2.99 which is about $6 here since the faffing dollar is such rubbish, but ANYWAY I would pay it, is what I'm telling you. The new season of Who has started and the internet is alight with spoilers and I am DYING over here. I guess you don't want to make it available since you have that deal with the Sci-Fi channel -- who by the way, will chop the episodes to shreds and delete character developing scenes for the sake of god damn commercials -- but 4 weeks is too long to wait and besides, I'll probably still watch them when they come on Sci-Fi anyway. Because that's just the type of dorky fan I am. It's all your fault for making such a good show anyway. As it is, I've had to revert to other methods.
You have no one to blame but yourself, you know.
Longingly,
EightK
--
Dear Luke,
Thank you so much. You know exactly why. You completely made my week.
Love,
EightK
--
Dear KOP Mall,
I know I've asked you this before, but I am asking you again because my need is that great. Please get yourself a Torrid. You have every other store on the planet, why not a Sassy Big Girl Hot Topic?
Get on it,
EightK
--
Dear Skirt,
What are you doing in a puddle around my feet?
Yours,
EightK
--
Dear Waistline,
Where did you go? Holy shit, did I really loose that much of you that my favorite skirt actually FELL OFF of me when I tried it on last night. Who knew that exercise actually worked?
I guess this is a good thing?
I still wish you were one fat roll of saddness less,
EightK
--
Dear EightK,
Well that's torn it. I guess that hot outfit you planned for tomorrow night isn't going to happen seeing as all your clothes are now too big. I guess you should skip class tonight and go shopping, as a treat to yourself.
Keep rocking out,
EightK
Well helllllllllooo there. I missed you all winter long. Don't ever leave me. I adore you. You make me feel happy and energetic.
Fondly,
EightK
--
Dear BBC,
Oh please, oh please, consider making Doctor Who available for download from iTunes. Because I would seriously fork over the $2.99 or I guess £ 2.99 which is about $6 here since the faffing dollar is such rubbish, but ANYWAY I would pay it, is what I'm telling you. The new season of Who has started and the internet is alight with spoilers and I am DYING over here. I guess you don't want to make it available since you have that deal with the Sci-Fi channel -- who by the way, will chop the episodes to shreds and delete character developing scenes for the sake of god damn commercials -- but 4 weeks is too long to wait and besides, I'll probably still watch them when they come on Sci-Fi anyway. Because that's just the type of dorky fan I am. It's all your fault for making such a good show anyway. As it is, I've had to revert to other methods.
You have no one to blame but yourself, you know.
Longingly,
EightK
--
Dear Luke,
Thank you so much. You know exactly why. You completely made my week.
Love,
EightK
--
Dear KOP Mall,
I know I've asked you this before, but I am asking you again because my need is that great. Please get yourself a Torrid. You have every other store on the planet, why not a Sassy Big Girl Hot Topic?
Get on it,
EightK
--
Dear Skirt,
What are you doing in a puddle around my feet?
Yours,
EightK
--
Dear Waistline,
Where did you go? Holy shit, did I really loose that much of you that my favorite skirt actually FELL OFF of me when I tried it on last night. Who knew that exercise actually worked?
I guess this is a good thing?
I still wish you were one fat roll of saddness less,
EightK
--
Dear EightK,
Well that's torn it. I guess that hot outfit you planned for tomorrow night isn't going to happen seeing as all your clothes are now too big. I guess you should skip class tonight and go shopping, as a treat to yourself.
Keep rocking out,
EightK
Labels: Open Letters
1 Comments:
Dear warm weather,
Why do you make people wear flip-flops with jeans? That makes less sense than the war in Iraq.
Sincerely,
Renal Failure
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