Wait, what just happened?

You know it was a good weekend when:

• You're out with friends, dancing to bad music in a club in Manyunk and the super tall guy behind you elbows you in the head. Then he does the let-me-kiss-it-to-make-it-better thing and exclaims "Wow, your hair smells amazing!" and then exuberantly SNIFFS YOUR HEAD, allowing for countless moments of giggling later on.
  
  
• Your chest is dubbed "The Star Spangled Banner" thanks to the super cute t-shirt you just bought at Target for $3. Anytime anyone (read: Lisa) hums "The Stars and Stripes Forever," you are required to shake what your mama gave you.
  
  
• You spend over 2 hours at the bar and end up not paying for a single drink, thanks to a certain Ass paying the entire bar tab.
  
  
• Brian and Debbie walk into the bar and Brian yells, "Right, you kids. You're all having another couple of drinks and then you're coming back to our place to party the rest of the night."
  
  
• You drink cosmopolitans that are basically just vodka, barely tinted pink. As the night goes on these become less and less potent. Or so you think. Then you realize you're just drunker.
  
  
• Sunday morning you wake up on the floor with no pants on to Debbie shuffling into the living room saying "I come with Advil. What the FUCK were we doing last night?"
  
  
• You then have a beautiful Sunday morning brunch, eating off of Debbie's china. Because, OBVIOUSLY that's what needs to be done.
  
  
• Over the lovely brunch, the 53-year-old British man says to you, "Darling, you are now my pet. I am making you my personal mission. I will not rest until you are happy and fucking your brains out with a dashing young man. I mean, look at you: you're cute as a button, you have brains in your head and marvelous tits that go out to here. How has this not happened for you yet?" Good question, Brian. I DON'T KNOW.
  
  
• You spend 2 hours crashed out on Debbie's couch watching The Incredible Mr. Limpet, starring Don Knotts as a fish.
  
  
• You finally go home with the very true intention of reading for class. Instead, you sack out on the couch with your roommate (who is hungover from a completely separate event), eat pizza, and watch bad MTV reality shows and The Office On Demand. You develop a school-girl crush on Jim.