The End: 2006

Ah, year end lists! How do I love thee? Namely since I get an easy-ass post out of you.

2006 was totally not the year I thought it would be. I'm still dumb enough to have that fresh faced idealism about every coming year so I went into 2006 doing my Snow Queen impression, all "Yes! Excellent! This rules!" I rang in 2006 with Luke, Leslie, Kelly and Phil drinking too many daiquiris, not dominating Scene It!, and getting assed in the face by Phil while playing Twister. Then, in true adult like fashion, I crashed on Luke and Leslie’s floor in a sleeping bag, woke up the next morning and ate my way through the greasy starchy delight that is a Bob Evan’s breakfast. With a start like that, how could 2006 possibly go bad?

Well. Let’s take a look, shall we?

2006: The Year of Sucky Men

Number of men that hit on me: 6

Number of men that hit on me at the singles mixer: 3

Number of men at singles mixer that were spazzing out screaming about how AWESOME Alice in Chains are, then blatantly staring at my tits while bragging about getting into 5 car crashes in 2 months, and then apropos of nothing yanking out a picture of their two year old son and thrusting it in my face, all while I tried to gracefully exit stage left: 1

Number of creepy men at singles mixer who stared at me and then grabbed me by the waist and then seriously told me that they had been looking for me all their life and tried to kiss me: 1

Number of seemingly nice men that hit on me at singles mixer: 1

Number of men I made out with at singles mixer: 1 (classy, right? With a capital ASS as the Redhead would say)

Number of dates that I got out of singles mixer: 1

Number of conversations I had with said guy post mixer before deciding he was kind of a tool: 1

Amount of time I spent weighing whether I should go out with him anyway: 1 day

Amount of mortification I felt when I discovered the lying douchebag was using me to cheat on his perfectly lovely girlfriend: infinity + 1

Amount of retribution and vindication I felt when I outed him to his girlfriend and the knowledge that she dumped his sorry ass and went on to better things: one million percent

Amount of love I had for the internet following that incident: tons

Number of men who hit on me despite being twice my age and married: 1

Number of men who hit on me while having a girlfriend, but were at least completely honest about it: 1

Number of men who said insulting things to me once they realized I wasn’t going to sleep with them: 2

Number of men who said insulting things to me without meaning to: 3

Amount of frustration I felt with Boy because he just doesn’t get it and never will, therefore I really truly and honestly give up: The entire month of March

Number of men who told me I’d be more "fuckable" if I lost 10 pounds: 1

Amount that I regretted not slapping the shit out of them after they said that: Every day that has followed

Number of perfectly nice, decent, attractive, smart, kind men that hit on me: 0

My message to men in 2007: Get your damn act together.

2006: The Year of Cancer and Sickness

Basically, everyone that I know has had someone close to them get cancer. And you know about the Doc, obviously. Which was, and continues to be awful. But yes, cancer decided to be all big and bad this year attacking people I care about or attacking the loved ones of people I care about. And Cancer, I got to tell you: Watch yourself. I am coming after you personally in 2007. I’ve decided that one of my resolutions is going to be to take part in cancer research fundraising somehow — be it the breast cancer walk like Coleen does or some donations to St. Jude’s or something. I don’t know. But I’m formulating a plan and you’re going down, Cancer. You’ve pissed me off to no end this year, and I’m not taking your shit in 2007.

2006: The Year of Brokeness

My blog, my cell phone, Stanley iBook, my car, my monitor at work, our garbage disposal, my DVD player, my bank account, and my sanity.

2006: You Basically Sucked

What’s the deal with that, 2006? Through the bad crap (which really hit hard in the second half of the year) there were moments of severe awesomeness and I am now going to recount them for you because I refuse to let the suckiness get the last word:

I turned 25
I got into and began graduate school
I carried a 4.0 this semester (which, no, I will not stop bragging about)
I rediscovered my crafty side and learned how to crochet and knit and began some other creatively stimulating projects.
My mentee and I really got along well
I completed 17 tasks off of my 101 in 1001 list
I met Michael Showalter (swoon)
I went camping with friends this summer, which was ridiculously fun
I got an iPod
I got Iris my lovely digital SLR
I met my photography-crush, JJ, and took a workshop with him
My brother remounted Tadhg and mounted Crazy Gary, both of which were quite successful
I saw They Might Be Giants and Henry Rollins
I was quoted in New York Magazine
A fun Haven girl lived with us for a month
I hosted Easter dinner for my family and made a bodacious lamb for the main course
I spent an entire weekend in Virginia Beach visiting the Fry with awesome friends
I saw Indian movies and loved them
I made myself slightly insane by dashing around helping with the EC videos, which got great kudos
I spent a lot of time partying with the Reings, Earnests, and of course the Dakes side of my family and realized that I possibly have the most complex, rich, and retardedly fun group of people to be related to.
I continue to be thankful for what have to be the two best roommates on the planet, Kelly and Mike
And I managed to score myself the best possible groups of friends a girl could hope for: 141, the ’03 Kids, Production Peeps, Writer friends, and now new Rosemonties.

So there it is. 2006 in quick review. Farewell, 2006. I cannot say I am sorry to see you end. 2007, I turn to you and greet you with open arms and say, "Yes! Excellent! This rules!"