The Illness: I'veGotAHotGuyInMyBed-itis
Symptoms: Warm cozy feeling, strong desire to engage in behavior best described as "snuggling," inability to keep hands to self, excessive giggling, blanket stealing, complete lack of will to get out of bed.
Course of treatment: In most cases, one of two options are available.
Cure 1 - Forcing subject out of bed, using brute strength if necessary. Cold showers followed by medicinal consumption of hot coffee and focusing subject's attention on "grownup responsibilities." Side effects include grumbling, pouting, heavy sighs, feet stomping, and sluggish behavior for the remainder of the day.
Cure 2 - Allowing the illness to "run its course." Subject should remain in bed for as long as possible. Good friends and understanding coworkers are essential to this remedy. Side effects include healthy glow, excessive smiling, daydreaming, happy sighs, facial muscles taking on a "sappy" expression, emotional behavior described as "obnoxiously happy."
GUESS WHICH REMEDY I CHOOSE, YOU GUYS.
In other news, sorry for being...well, sappy and obnoxiously happy around these parts. I should be keeping an even head about me, given all the complications, but instead I'm all singing with bluebirds on my shoulder and shit. Whatever. ISN'T IT A REFRESHING CHANGE FROM ALL WHINE ALL THE TIME ABOUT HOW I HATE MYSELF? Yeah, I think so too. We're going to go with it.
Symptoms: Warm cozy feeling, strong desire to engage in behavior best described as "snuggling," inability to keep hands to self, excessive giggling, blanket stealing, complete lack of will to get out of bed.
Course of treatment: In most cases, one of two options are available.
Cure 1 - Forcing subject out of bed, using brute strength if necessary. Cold showers followed by medicinal consumption of hot coffee and focusing subject's attention on "grownup responsibilities." Side effects include grumbling, pouting, heavy sighs, feet stomping, and sluggish behavior for the remainder of the day.
Cure 2 - Allowing the illness to "run its course." Subject should remain in bed for as long as possible. Good friends and understanding coworkers are essential to this remedy. Side effects include healthy glow, excessive smiling, daydreaming, happy sighs, facial muscles taking on a "sappy" expression, emotional behavior described as "obnoxiously happy."
GUESS WHICH REMEDY I CHOOSE, YOU GUYS.
In other news, sorry for being...well, sappy and obnoxiously happy around these parts. I should be keeping an even head about me, given all the complications, but instead I'm all singing with bluebirds on my shoulder and shit. Whatever. ISN'T IT A REFRESHING CHANGE FROM ALL WHINE ALL THE TIME ABOUT HOW I HATE MYSELF? Yeah, I think so too. We're going to go with it.
Labels: Girlie behavior, Happy Things, Romance
1 Comments:
I regret to inform you that this condition is chronic. I've been suffering for almost 3 years with no signs of a cure. It's great!
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