Chronicles of the Vertically Challenged

It's been a rough couple of days for me. Yesterday I fell three times. The first was early in the morning, on my way to my car. My Chuck Taylor-clad food stepped down on some ice and shot out from under me, leaving me to just barely catch myself on a mound of dirty hardened snow and causing my neighbor to exclaim from across the street, "Whhhhoooa! You all right?!" Second, at school, I managed to trip up the stairs, if that's possible, and clonk my funny bone right in the sweet spot. And then, on the way back to my car after class, remembering how I slipped on the ice in the morning, I decided that instead of walking on the snow and ice on the "sidewalk" area, I should instead throw a leg over the chain barrier that was across the roadway that led to my car. My foot caught and I went down down down, skinning my knee, jamming my thumb, and severely bruising my thumbnail.

But tomorrow is another day, right? Not so much.

Today we had a class of 8th graders visiting the office from the inner city school my company has adopted. I was taking my group back to my desk to show them some wowee production stuff, when, in the hallway I turned around and walked backwards looking at my group in that tour guide-y “And we’re walking, we’re walking” sort of way.

“You guys,” I told them, “Don’t tell anyone, but you got in the best group. My group is always the best because we get to do the fun stuff. We’re the cool group.”

And then I turned around and walked face first into a wall.

Allow me to introduce myself: Wile. E. Coyote. Supergenius.