OH MY GOD.
Oy! You lot in the cassocks. You need to move past this. Seriously. IT'S A MOVIE. Mooooovie. It's your standard Hollywood summer blockbuster drivel. It stars Tom Hanks and that chic from Amelie. It was directed by Ron Howard, the same guy who made Willow and massacred The Grinch. I mean, really. How serious can you really be about something like this?
And this movie? It's based on a novel. A novel -- a work of FICTION. And everyone from the age of 7 and up knows that FICTION IS NOT TRUE. IT'S FAKE. IT'S THE PRODUCT OF SOME DUDE'S IMAGINATION. REALLY.
You need to let this go because 1) the more you say it's bad and the more you protest it the more people are going to go see it, I mean, hello!, you act like you've never met anyone who was the product of the Catholic School System before. And 2) NOBODY REALLY BELIVES THE DA VINCI CODE IS FACT AND THE FACT THAT YOU'RE SO FIXATED ON IT MAKES YOU LOOK REALLY DUMB and 3) Nobody cares.
Look, the Catholic faith didn't implode as a result of The Last Tempation of Christ or Dogma, and it's not going to implode because of something that stars (an admittingly hot) Paul Bettany as an albino monk. Not everything Hollywood produces can be The Bells of Saint Mary's, you know? Resurrecting the National Legion of Decency isn't going to help because -- and this is crucial -- it didn't work in 1933 and it isn't going to work now.
Also, there's more important things for you to worry about instead of some Tom Hanks flick that's based on a novel that, while fun to read, was about as intellectually stimulating and suspenseful as a Goosebumps paperback.
Oy! You lot in the cassocks. You need to move past this. Seriously. IT'S A MOVIE. Mooooovie. It's your standard Hollywood summer blockbuster drivel. It stars Tom Hanks and that chic from Amelie. It was directed by Ron Howard, the same guy who made Willow and massacred The Grinch. I mean, really. How serious can you really be about something like this?
And this movie? It's based on a novel. A novel -- a work of FICTION. And everyone from the age of 7 and up knows that FICTION IS NOT TRUE. IT'S FAKE. IT'S THE PRODUCT OF SOME DUDE'S IMAGINATION. REALLY.
You need to let this go because 1) the more you say it's bad and the more you protest it the more people are going to go see it, I mean, hello!, you act like you've never met anyone who was the product of the Catholic School System before. And 2) NOBODY REALLY BELIVES THE DA VINCI CODE IS FACT AND THE FACT THAT YOU'RE SO FIXATED ON IT MAKES YOU LOOK REALLY DUMB and 3) Nobody cares.
Look, the Catholic faith didn't implode as a result of The Last Tempation of Christ or Dogma, and it's not going to implode because of something that stars (an admittingly hot) Paul Bettany as an albino monk. Not everything Hollywood produces can be The Bells of Saint Mary's, you know? Resurrecting the National Legion of Decency isn't going to help because -- and this is crucial -- it didn't work in 1933 and it isn't going to work now.
Also, there's more important things for you to worry about instead of some Tom Hanks flick that's based on a novel that, while fun to read, was about as intellectually stimulating and suspenseful as a Goosebumps paperback.
4 Comments:
Couple o' thoughts:
1) I actually did leave the church in large part because of the novel the Last Temptation. Granted, I was well on the way already, and the thing about selling indulgences put me over the top, but reading the novel helped.
2) The more they screech, the more I think Brown was onto something. I mean, not really, but kinda.... but not really. Maybe a little bit. ;-)
3) Most importantly, please clarify: Paul Bettany = hot, or Paul Bettany as an albino monk = hot. (Either way, I won't judge you, 'cause I love you.)
Paul Bettany is hot, full stop. Period. End of sentance. New paragraph.
I've always thought he was good looking in the skinny white boy way. Also? Accents are hot.
Honestly though, if your faith can be deterred by a movie, then you didn't have it in the first place. I believe that there is a very strong difference between the "church" and church. After all the "church" is run by humans who are just as flawed as the rest of us.
And I didn't read the damn book and I won't see the movie. Why? Well, I have to be contrary to one pop culture phenomenon in my life. And I don't handle it well when people fuck around with art.
i could smear a small amount of peanut butter on a piece of bread and hold it up for all the world to see. and if i say it was religiously motivated, people will start a huge stink and say that the bread is purity and the peanut butter is sin or something like that. some people need to learn that fiction is fiction and peanut butter is mother fucking peanut butter.
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