Recently, I noticed that I'm sort of...squishier than I used to be. Like, I've never been a bean pole or cut or anything (I've always been a bit plump), but I had skimmed down last spring (It all went to hell in late summer), and then re-adjusted slightly while I was in the UK because I was walking everywhere. But as the cold months blew in (along with the holidays), I have found myself where I am every winter: Curled up with something starchy and/or cheesy to help pack on blubber for these cold, cold winter months.
Not helping is the fact that it's also hibernation time — I get so lazy and blue this time of year. It's dark, it's cold, all I want to do is hunker down under blankets with books and kitties.
Normally I would let this phase pass and come spring jump into action eating better with more fresh produce and going out and doing shit. However...Brisket.
I find myself getting quite self-conscious. Like, using candles not because they're romantic, but because provide softer light and my cellulite isn't as easily visible. Doing that ridiculous stomach-suck thing to make him think that I do not, in fact, have a squashy fat roll of sadness around my middle.
Brisket, of course, hasn't said anything nor behaved in any manner that would make me think he's noticed nor cared if he did. Someone once told me that sexiness is about confidence, which I believe is true. If I work what I got, he won't notice what I don't have (namely, a tiny waist). However, it's hard to be confident when we're snuggling and all of the sudden his hand finds his way to my stomach and ohmygod he's TOUCHING the ROLL and the CREASE and Christ, I'm all lardy and oh god oh god. And then I have a mental freak out followed by a mini come-to-Jesus with myself, all silent and secret-like in the space of 25 seconds so he won't think I'm a neurotic freak show. Which of course, I am.
All of this by way of saying that I've signed up for this* in May and starting TONIGHT, DAMNIT, I am beginning training. Jiggly bits shall be no more.
Any help and motivation you can give me — aside from 80s telling me I'm a fatty because I know I'm a fatty, I mean something constructive — would be appreciated.
*The 5K. Not the Half-marathon. I'm not completely insane.
Not helping is the fact that it's also hibernation time — I get so lazy and blue this time of year. It's dark, it's cold, all I want to do is hunker down under blankets with books and kitties.
Normally I would let this phase pass and come spring jump into action eating better with more fresh produce and going out and doing shit. However...Brisket.
I find myself getting quite self-conscious. Like, using candles not because they're romantic, but because provide softer light and my cellulite isn't as easily visible. Doing that ridiculous stomach-suck thing to make him think that I do not, in fact, have a squashy fat roll of sadness around my middle.
Brisket, of course, hasn't said anything nor behaved in any manner that would make me think he's noticed nor cared if he did. Someone once told me that sexiness is about confidence, which I believe is true. If I work what I got, he won't notice what I don't have (namely, a tiny waist). However, it's hard to be confident when we're snuggling and all of the sudden his hand finds his way to my stomach and ohmygod he's TOUCHING the ROLL and the CREASE and Christ, I'm all lardy and oh god oh god. And then I have a mental freak out followed by a mini come-to-Jesus with myself, all silent and secret-like in the space of 25 seconds so he won't think I'm a neurotic freak show. Which of course, I am.
All of this by way of saying that I've signed up for this* in May and starting TONIGHT, DAMNIT, I am beginning training. Jiggly bits shall be no more.
Any help and motivation you can give me — aside from 80s telling me I'm a fatty because I know I'm a fatty, I mean something constructive — would be appreciated.
*The 5K. Not the Half-marathon. I'm not completely insane.
Labels: Feeling the burn, Girlie behavior, Good luck with your hell demons
1 Comments:
Let's make a date to hit Valley Forge park some weekends for running/walking/whatever, and (healthy) lunch afterward!
Now that I'm assimilated to the new job and back on track, I gotta get out there and do some long runs. Can't do 'em on the treadmill, messes up my hip ...
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