Dear Lisa Loeb,
I'm sitting here watching your reality TV show On Demand at 12:30am because I've done all the prep work I can think of for the Easter Dinner of Doom tomorrow, with the possible exception of cleaning the bathtub, because I am totally procrastinating on that since the tub is sort of nasty and I'm really hoping that I can avoid getting elbow deep in Ajax and just use the shower curtain to hide it , but deep down I know I need to do it since really, it's grody.
Anyway, yes.
I'm watching #1 Single, and I have to say: Word, Lisa. I completely feel your pain. I don't understand boys either. And I don't understand how you can be single seeing as you're talented and super smart, and cute and kicky and completely famous. I know this sounds bad, but the fact that you're having trouble sort of comforts me, because if you can't make it, it means the male species is deficiant and just doesn't get it. So it's not my fault I am single. Like that dude who wouldn't get off his damned cell phone and left you standing at the zoo? What the hell? Or that weirdo who sang "Stay" to you on Kareoke? Unspeakably lame. What's wrong with guys?
I sort of wish we could meet because I think that we would be BFF seeing as I am also a kicky girl with glasses. We would drink coffee from your Hello Kitty coffee maker and eat huge squares of rice crispy treats (Lent is over, bitches) and I could complain that I didn't get anything from Columbia in the mail today despite the fact that their website says I would hear from them by today and the fact that I didn't get anything from them makes me think that I didn't get in. And then you would say something comforting, like maybe it was only sent out today or that it's delayed because everyone is sending out their taxes and the post office was swamped. You could, like, be a big sister figure for me or something. It would be cool.
On your show? When introducing your friend Stephanie? You said, "Why are all the awesome women single?" I wonder the same thing! I know so many fantasic cute ladies who men treat like crap. Or don't notice. Men are dumb.
Anyway, I'm on the last episode now, so I should really end this letter and really consider tackling the tub and going the hell to bed even though I can't sleep since I am worried about the lamb and freaked about Columbia because I am a failure.
Do you really think I can just hide the tub with the shower curtain?
Hearts,
EightK
P.S. -- I totally want your hair.
I'm sitting here watching your reality TV show On Demand at 12:30am because I've done all the prep work I can think of for the Easter Dinner of Doom tomorrow, with the possible exception of cleaning the bathtub, because I am totally procrastinating on that since the tub is sort of nasty and I'm really hoping that I can avoid getting elbow deep in Ajax and just use the shower curtain to hide it , but deep down I know I need to do it since really, it's grody.
Anyway, yes.
I'm watching #1 Single, and I have to say: Word, Lisa. I completely feel your pain. I don't understand boys either. And I don't understand how you can be single seeing as you're talented and super smart, and cute and kicky and completely famous. I know this sounds bad, but the fact that you're having trouble sort of comforts me, because if you can't make it, it means the male species is deficiant and just doesn't get it. So it's not my fault I am single. Like that dude who wouldn't get off his damned cell phone and left you standing at the zoo? What the hell? Or that weirdo who sang "Stay" to you on Kareoke? Unspeakably lame. What's wrong with guys?
I sort of wish we could meet because I think that we would be BFF seeing as I am also a kicky girl with glasses. We would drink coffee from your Hello Kitty coffee maker and eat huge squares of rice crispy treats (Lent is over, bitches) and I could complain that I didn't get anything from Columbia in the mail today despite the fact that their website says I would hear from them by today and the fact that I didn't get anything from them makes me think that I didn't get in. And then you would say something comforting, like maybe it was only sent out today or that it's delayed because everyone is sending out their taxes and the post office was swamped. You could, like, be a big sister figure for me or something. It would be cool.
On your show? When introducing your friend Stephanie? You said, "Why are all the awesome women single?" I wonder the same thing! I know so many fantasic cute ladies who men treat like crap. Or don't notice. Men are dumb.
Anyway, I'm on the last episode now, so I should really end this letter and really consider tackling the tub and going the hell to bed even though I can't sleep since I am worried about the lamb and freaked about Columbia because I am a failure.
Do you really think I can just hide the tub with the shower curtain?
Hearts,
EightK
P.S. -- I totally want your hair.
Labels: Open Letters
1 Comments:
I love and miss you, Katie. We need to hang. Fuck Columbia. This post made my heart smile. Love, Brian.
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