My friend and coworker Tom is getting married on Sunday. This is not why I am blue. I'm actually quite the opposite of blue (Red? Green?) and am quite stoked for him as he is marrying a lovely girl who is the perfect lid to his pot, or whatever. Also, I am probably more excited than most since I've known Tom the longest and seeing him get married is just...well, let's just say it involves lots of school girl giggles behind cupped hands and mentally singing Tom and Diane sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Also, after their first date Tom came to talk to me about it and I called right then and there that they would get married, no matter how much Tom insisted he "wasn't thinking like that" and "wanted to take things slow". Whatever, dude. My spidey sense knew what was up.
The reason I'm blue has to do more with the fact that I am going to the wedding and therefore need to buy a dress. Gentlemen, you are at your leisure. Ladies, settle in, because I need your help.
For months now I've been eyeing this dress at Torrid. But knowing my past history with Torrid dresses, I knew I couldn't just order it online, I needed to go to the store and try it on. Stupidly, the closest Torrid is in the Montgomery Mall (Seriously, KOP, you have eleventy thousand other stores but you can't get a Fat-Girl Hot Topic [tm Renee]? Get on it) so I have to carve out time to go there, and I'm a busy girl, yadda yadda yadda.
I went shopping last night. Sadly I had to go alone as Renee had GRE work to do (good luck, you're going to do fine 'cuz you're a smartie!) and Kelly was having dinner with former coworkers, and let me just tell you -- I am never going dress shopping alone ever again. Because that? Was fucking traumatic. Boys are so lucky. Trousers, shirt, tie aaaaaaaand done! Girls? Dress, shoes, stockings, jewelry, shawl, purse, special panties, special bra, make up stuff, hair stuff. It just goes on and on.
Anyway, the expedition didn't start out well since they didn't have the dress I wanted in my size.
(And another thing! Let's talk about how much sizes suck for women. Like, guys need to know your waist and inside leg, and generally across the board those numbers work for you in any store. Girls? Not so. For example, if I'm shopping in say, Target, I usually have to wear an 18. But in Macy's I'm more of a 20 since Macy's is deranged. At JC Penny last night, however, I fit into a 16. And at H&M I can sometimes wear a 14 on the bottom, but since I have breasts I need an XL on top. Although I have a corset from H&M that's a 12, so good luck figuring that shit out. This is why I fucking hate shopping)
At Torrid I usually wear a 14, sometimes a 12 depending on the bust line (Torrid is the only store that manages to make me feel flat chested, which is REALLY saying something). That cute black and red dress I linked to? Only had a 16. And the 16 fit me, sort of, but there was a hell of a lot of fabric in the sleeves and some weird froofy fabric at the waist going on. This dress was a strong contender for awhile, but again, the bust line was a problem.
Long story short, I tried on every dress in the store. Bless those sales attendants, bless them.
I ended up getting this dress. But I'm not sold on it completely. It's white, which is kind of a no-no, although the blue print might cancel that out. More importantly, it's a tube dress, which I don't do. For one, I have broad shoulders and I look like a line backer. Second, I'm just not all that comfortable with tube anythings. It's just not me. And I'm worried that it looks too casual.
But it was by far the dress that looked best on me, so I bought it.
I brought it to work today and the committee approved it, provided that I don't fidget with the top too much. I have a tendency to tug it up and smooth it down a lot, since I'm not used to wearing this style. Kelly gets the final veto power tonight, although I am rapidly running out of time and may end up attending this wedding in my bathrobe. I can do that, right?
Ugh. I still need shoes and a shawl, which hopefully I can borrow from Regina. I need a better strapless bra. I need to get my haircut. I need to get a manicure.
I had mental plans of going to this wedding looking all cute 'n sassy in red and bagging a groomsman. Somehow, I don't think that's happening anymore.
The reason I'm blue has to do more with the fact that I am going to the wedding and therefore need to buy a dress. Gentlemen, you are at your leisure. Ladies, settle in, because I need your help.
For months now I've been eyeing this dress at Torrid. But knowing my past history with Torrid dresses, I knew I couldn't just order it online, I needed to go to the store and try it on. Stupidly, the closest Torrid is in the Montgomery Mall (Seriously, KOP, you have eleventy thousand other stores but you can't get a Fat-Girl Hot Topic [tm Renee]? Get on it) so I have to carve out time to go there, and I'm a busy girl, yadda yadda yadda.
I went shopping last night. Sadly I had to go alone as Renee had GRE work to do (good luck, you're going to do fine 'cuz you're a smartie!) and Kelly was having dinner with former coworkers, and let me just tell you -- I am never going dress shopping alone ever again. Because that? Was fucking traumatic. Boys are so lucky. Trousers, shirt, tie aaaaaaaand done! Girls? Dress, shoes, stockings, jewelry, shawl, purse, special panties, special bra, make up stuff, hair stuff. It just goes on and on.
Anyway, the expedition didn't start out well since they didn't have the dress I wanted in my size.
(And another thing! Let's talk about how much sizes suck for women. Like, guys need to know your waist and inside leg, and generally across the board those numbers work for you in any store. Girls? Not so. For example, if I'm shopping in say, Target, I usually have to wear an 18. But in Macy's I'm more of a 20 since Macy's is deranged. At JC Penny last night, however, I fit into a 16. And at H&M I can sometimes wear a 14 on the bottom, but since I have breasts I need an XL on top. Although I have a corset from H&M that's a 12, so good luck figuring that shit out. This is why I fucking hate shopping)
At Torrid I usually wear a 14, sometimes a 12 depending on the bust line (Torrid is the only store that manages to make me feel flat chested, which is REALLY saying something). That cute black and red dress I linked to? Only had a 16. And the 16 fit me, sort of, but there was a hell of a lot of fabric in the sleeves and some weird froofy fabric at the waist going on. This dress was a strong contender for awhile, but again, the bust line was a problem.
Long story short, I tried on every dress in the store. Bless those sales attendants, bless them.
I ended up getting this dress. But I'm not sold on it completely. It's white, which is kind of a no-no, although the blue print might cancel that out. More importantly, it's a tube dress, which I don't do. For one, I have broad shoulders and I look like a line backer. Second, I'm just not all that comfortable with tube anythings. It's just not me. And I'm worried that it looks too casual.
But it was by far the dress that looked best on me, so I bought it.
I brought it to work today and the committee approved it, provided that I don't fidget with the top too much. I have a tendency to tug it up and smooth it down a lot, since I'm not used to wearing this style. Kelly gets the final veto power tonight, although I am rapidly running out of time and may end up attending this wedding in my bathrobe. I can do that, right?
Ugh. I still need shoes and a shawl, which hopefully I can borrow from Regina. I need a better strapless bra. I need to get my haircut. I need to get a manicure.
I had mental plans of going to this wedding looking all cute 'n sassy in red and bagging a groomsman. Somehow, I don't think that's happening anymore.
Labels: General Whining, Girlie behavior
8 Comments:
Oh, posh! You will look cute and sassy in a burlap sack. Sorry I couldn't come for the fun fat-girl shoppping.
No worries. The GREs are much more important, obviously. I have my fingers crossed for you!
I also got s über cute skort for just $10!
What? The black vinyl dress doesn't fit anymore?
God, don't you know anything? Black is a huge no-no at weddings too. It says, "I am mourning the union of your lives" or something.
Now if the vinyl dress were red, we would have been in business.
That's old-fashioned talk. Black is acceptable for weddings now, just like how today you can wear white after Labor Day.
Everyone take note: Katie wants a red vinyl dress for Christmas.
Oh, man, I bet you looked uberkute (it's the German, obviously) in that dress. And boob-tastic!
I know I don't say this often, but I think I looked awesome. Everyone kept complimenting me on my dress, and I quickly got over it being a tube dress and ditched the shawl.
Davy kept saying I looked "Delft," like the pottery, because of the pattern on my dress. Which I took as a compliment.
Add onto that a fresh haircut and a new shade of lip gloss and I looked damned cute.
Hey, my cousin's wife works in Marketing at the KOP Mall...maybe I can tell her to make it her mission to get a Torrid store for you.
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